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| home.... |
| 03.21.05 (11:09 pm) [edit] |
So my parents are here right now....which has been cool because I get to go out to dinner and they buy me stuff. Thats not the only reason.....I miss them alot. I have made up my mind that I am going to transfer. Its nothing against anyone here.....I just miss home and Kylie and everyone else. I can't stop thinking about it. It would just be so much fun if I was in Austin and Kylie was in CS and Paj was in Waco and everyone else was in San Marcos.....I could see them whenever I wanted. And go home whenever I wanted. But what if I don't get into UT??? I would be sooooo sad. I think I will though. And I could still visit here alot. The one thing is that I know I would be really disappointed if things didnt turn out at UT the way I want them to. Whatever that is. I cant stop thinking about it though......weird. I'm going home this weekend so i'm really excited to see everyone. I really hope Kylie can come up for at least a night.....I think I might meet her in Waco for lunch on Thursday.....I hope Paj can come too! He is coming up that weekend so I know we can hang out at the house if I don't see him in Waco. I really want to see everyone else too....Jake and Roy and Joey and Chase. I love them because they are so unpretentious....you can just hang out and be yourself and not worry about anything. They are the most laid back people, and I love that about them. Soo.....I think we are going to Cheesecake Factory tomorrow to celebrate my birthday, late. Which is good because I didn't get to blow out any candles and make a wish. Well time for some Sex....and the City. Unfortunately.
[b]Kelly Clarkson[/b]
[i]Addicted[/i]
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
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| March Madness |
| 03.18.05 (12:19 am) [edit] |
My parents love beer so much they decided to get married on St Patricks Day.....cool huh?? So they have been married 21 years...aww...I hope when I get married I am like them and don't get divorced or anything. Ummm anyways. Haven't written in awhile because it has been SO BORING here. Everyone went to Mexico.....Drew got back from Rosarito today though so he came over. We went in the hot tub and ordered pizza and watched Sweet Home Alabama. It was fun. No drinking tonight actually. My parents are coming on Saturday, so Audrey and I have been trying to clean the house because its TRASHED....but haven't made too much progress. We FINALLY got my shit out of storage....what, 7 months later? At least it is done. But now we have 3 TVs and we only really need one. I found all these clothes I forgot I had.....its like shopping! But now there is even more to clean up and put away. I have two closets in my room and both of them are jam packed....and I just went through my clothes and got rid of a bunch. I can't help it....I like clothes. My room is so gross, its going to take all day tomorrow. Oh yes, I forgot, what I actually wanted to write about......I AM SO FUCKING PISSED TEXAS LOST TO FUCKING NEVADA!! What the HELL is up with that???? Thats embarassing....to lose in the first round. Texas played like shit this year so I was surprised they even got a bid, but whatever. The ONE thing my Dad and I bond over is March Madness....we do our brackets and bet eachother. Its fun. But he is kicking my ass so far....he picked Nevada over Texas, which personally I think is disrespectful!!!! And he picked UW Milwaukee over Alabama. NOBODY PICKED THAT!!! I did pick UAB over LSU though.....but my bracket is screwed up already. Boo. He thinks Illinois is going all the way, and I was not impressed the way they played tonight....I think UNC is going all the way. It would be cool if it ended up being Duke/UNC in the final. Im bored now.....Audrey and Drew are asleep....and i'm not tired. Maybe I should clean my room. Good idea.
[b]Finch[/b]
[i]Once Upon My Nightstand[/i]
I'm sleeping to give my head a rest
I am so sick of these arguments
Alone, once again I'm on my own
Just need some time to myself or I'll explode
I know that this is all my fault
And one day I will get it right
But for now I sit here and remind myself
That everything will be okay
Your letter written on a napkin
Sits on my nightstand
And it reads:
This is...
This is the last time
That I will write to you
This is goodbye
I know that this is all my fault
And one day I will get it right
But for now I sit here and remind myself
That everything will be okay
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| basketcase |
| 03.13.05 (1:23 am) [edit] |
I am a mess....
Well, at the moment I am better than I was earlier. I've just been wayyyyy depressed.....I hadn't left the house or eaten in 3 days. Thats bad. I wanted to stay home and just sleep but I ended up going over to Rob's tonight. I didn't drink because I knew if I did I would sleep there and I wanted to sleep in my own bed. Rob's friend Pieter is in town, he is cool.....but there was all this drama and I just can't deal with it. If I was drunk, maybe. Sober, hell no. Everyone is hanging out by the pool tomorrow....and there is no way I am going because I don't want to wear a bathing suit! Especially in front of all these tanorexic ASU girls. Ugh. My parents and Timmy are coming on Saturday, so I'm excited for that.....I miss them. They are staying at the Princess so my Mom and I are getting massages and facials while my Dad plays golf....should be fun. Drew, Suzy, and Amy are going to Mexico tomorrow and Rob, Pieter, Guill, and Andy are going on Wednesday. I wanted to go to LA to see Ash, but she has finals and I am broke. If I go to LA I will want to shop and I just don't have the money right now....no fun. I really wish the boys could've come because it would have been alot of fun. I'm not mad that they couldn't come, just disappointed......well, I'm mad at Jake for not even talking to me about it. That sucks. Even just a hey, we can't come would be nice. But I guess I have alot more respect for them than they do for me. Whatever. I am going home for Easter and I don't even think I will see them. I hope Kylie will be there. I am going to CS in April and we are going to see Ashlee Simpson in Houston....so stoked. Lacey is coming too. I love Lacey. She is fun. Well I'm going to sleep.....
[b]Puddle of Mudd[/b]
[i]Blurry[/i]
Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well you shoved it my face
Everyone is changing
there's no one left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well you shoved it my face
Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
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| REALLY, REALLY bad day |
| 03.11.05 (1:17 am) [edit] |
Wow. Where to start. Um, I hate my life? I'm stupid....and I always do this? Think everything is cool then it blows up in my face. I have been really depressed here lately and the only thing I was looking forward to was Jake and Pajo coming to visit. Well I find out today that they aren't. Just casually, heyyy we aren't coming because it's a long drive. Jake hasn't even fucking talked to me about it, Pajo just MENTIONS it online. Have some fucking balls to tell me at least on the phone....the day before spring break starts. Thanks. Maybe its just me, but I would NEVER do that to a friend. So now Spring Break is ruined and we are stuck here while everyone else is in Mexico. Cool. Looking fucking forward to it. I kind of knew something would happen.....it always does. Its just all bullshit. And I feel totally fucked over. Maybe I am blowing things out of proportion and making a big deal out of nothing like I always do but I dont care. I cried for a good hour then drank half a bottle of tequila. It was fun. I just wish I hadn't found it out until after 8 because it fucking ruined the OC and I've been looking forward to it for 2 weeks. But I was pissed off and chain smoking during it so I didn't even really get to watch. I was going to just stay at home and get trashed and pass out but I went over to Rob's with Audrey for maybe an hour....then I had her bring me home and got trashed and passed out. But now I can't sleep. And I think i'm already hungover. Cool. I talked to Ashley about maybe going out there or her coming here....but then remembered I am broke. So scratch that. I refuse to ask my parents for any more money bc I have asked them for enough lately. I have a feeling i'm going to be in a bad mood tomorrow and probably really hungover so I think I will sleep all day. Sounds fun. A great way to start spring break. Looking forward to it. I think I am becoming dillusional.
[b]A Perfect Circle[/b]
[i]3 Libras[/i]
Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me
Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.
Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.
So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy
Well, oh well..
Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all
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| nothing... |
| 03.10.05 (2:12 am) [edit] |
I haven't really been writing much because nothing too exciting has been going on......
Since my almost nervous breakdown things have been better, I'm just not sure what i'm going to do for fall semester. It is kind of up to my parents. If they wan't me to go home I don't have much of a choice because they are the ones that pay the bills. If I do leave, I kind of feel like the only person that would really care would be Audrey. And I have so many friends, TRUE friends, in Texas......I just don't know. Anyways.....Sunday was my birthday. We had a party Saturday night, it was fun. There was a pretty good turnout, probably 30 people, which is alot because the space we have to party in at my house isn't that big....just the kitchen, living room, and balcony. I did a few too many birthday beer bongs and ended up getting completely wasted and passed out on the liberator and Audrey had to carry me to bed. I fell over my pink table and ended up breaking it and now I have a gigantic bruise on my leg. I guess she was having a hard time...i'm heavy...and Andy offered to help put me to bed but she already had gotten me into bed. And apparently I was prancing around the living room. At least I wasn't doing that when EVERYONE was there....only Audrey, Guill, Andy, and Rob....and they have seen me wasted millions of times so no biggie. I woke up on my birthday without a hangover, but I didn't wake up til 5:30 and I had 7 trillion missed calls because everybody loves me and wanted to say happy birthday (at home at least). I was pretty upset that everyone bailed on going to the Cheesecake Factory, since I made a huge deal about it......thanks guys, thanks. I understand people have to study and stuff but they knew way in advance, and I can guarantee you that most of that time would not be spent studying but watching TV or sitting around or something, so I don't think an hour to celebrate my fucking birthday would kill you. My friends at home would NEVER do that. So it ended up being only me and Audrey, which was fine......except Audrey's salad tasted like shit and I got too full for cheesecake so I didn't get to make a birthday wish :( boo poor me. Enough of this pity party. Today I got a brazilian bikini wax for spring break and it hurt like childbirth. OW. Beauty is pain. And it wasn't that bad because I did 4 double shots of tequila before and made Audrey drive me. It did hurt like a bitch though. Tonight was boring....just watched TV then went over to Rob's and played Super Nintendo. Tomorrow it is supossed to be really nice so we are going to chill by the pool and drink margaritas. I do love that about AZ. It's 4:20...woooo....that reminds me....I can't wait til the boys come. And I'm excited my family is coming too....I miss them. Especially my Mommy. I know she gets really upset when I call her crying and there is nothing she can do to "make it better" because I am so far away. I'm going to get Timmy wasted. Two more days til Spring Break....
[b]Atreyu[/b]
[i]A Song For The Optimists[/i]
Blow the last candle out. Let the wax harden
I wish I could stop crying. And I wish that someone still loved me
Just breathe and focus. How can I when the air is so cold and empty,
That my lungs froze right in my chest.
I'll be honest the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture
And the smiles are so difficult to fake.
What do I have to do, or who do I have to kill, to get what I want. What I need.
Happiness is an emotion I was born to this world without,
nothing pleases me. And i can never be satiated.
Through this toil I will breed my own distress and destroy my best hopes,
fuck up the only things that I love.
I watched my aspirations crashing to the ground, on the backs of the angels that I've slain.
But I meant so well, I tried so hard, gave everyting in my soul, to what end, to what end
Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away.
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| annoyances |
| 03.04.05 (5:26 pm) [edit] |
Haven't written in awhile....
The other day I kind of had a complete meltdown because I got into fights with both Kylie AND Ashley. Not really a fight....that sounds so middle school. But the thing is that we NEVER fight so when we do I get really upset. Kylie pretty much woke me up that I have not been making great decisions lately....and I know she's right. I've been really depressed and doing the whole stay in bed all day thing again....I'm just not that happy here. I love my friends here, but maybe it would be better if I was somewhere near home. I called my Mom and was pretty much hysterical and she wants me to come home. I'm going to finish up the semester and then see how things are. If I were to transfer, I missed the deadline for UT Fall, so I would transfer in the spring. I just don't know. I hate to admit I've failed here but I pretty much have. I know I could be doing sooo much better. But anyways. Last night we chilled at the Village.... I drank but didn't get that drunk. Suzy and I decided to go play basketball with these people, and I assumed that they lived in the Village but it turns out they don't and were actually still in high school. Ew. Somehow they ended up coming back to Suzy's and smoking cigarettes....one of them dropped out of H.S....so we were going off on him about how he needs to get his GED. There were 3 of them, and they all thought they were black. I'm sorry but I can't stand that. Then they were talking about drug dealers and people getting shot and stuff....I just don't normally hang out with people like that so it was weird. I ordered a Pizza from Hungry Howies and Drew and I ate it in less than 5 minutes. It was delicious. Then Me, Drew, Audrey, Suz, and this Tony kid went in the hot tub....it was locked so we had to hop the fence...and Suz might have broken her foot. I was too drunk to be hopping fences so it took me a few tries...haha....but then once we were in the hot tub that Tony kid started to piss me off. He was pretty much talking like he was a thug and I was like YOU ARE NOT BLACK OR GHETTO SO STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE. Then he was going off on me and saying I was a dumb rich bitch and I've never had to pay for anything and I don't know what the real world is and bla bla bla. I HATE THAT STEREOTYPE. Just because my parents have money doesn't mean that I do. I've had a job since I was 14. Yes, my parents pay for my school and living expenses but so do most other people's. That doesn't mean I don't know what the fucking real world is. I understand that not everything is a little Southlake Bubble.....that drives me insane. Don't fucking judge me when you know NOTHING about me. Enough about that. I was supossed to get a brazilian at 9:45 but I was soooo tired so I rescheduled....we came home from Suz's around 9ish and passed out. But then I woke up at 11 and couldn't go back to sleep so I went to the mall to buy something for my birthday party tomorrow....YAY. I'm so tired right now but I really can't sleep. I think we might go to a Toga Party tonight....funnnn. And tomorrow we are going to the Cheesecake Factory for my bday and if EVERYONE DOESNT COME I WILL BE VERY UPSET SINCE WE DIDNT GET TO GO LAST YEAR. And afterwards its my party!!!! And we are getting a keg of GOOD beer, not Miller Lite. So come, bring your friends, and bring me presents.....just kidding. But you can if you want ;)
[b]NFG[/b]
[i]Your Biggest Mistake[/i]
What do you think inside your head
so you think that this could end up breaking you
Your life is a timebomb set to explode
You talk out your ass and everyone knows
For once you should listen or care what i think
Or i'll be gone before you can blink
Everyones told you over and over again
Your making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyones told you
Everyone you left behind
Your making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyone knows that your afraid of missing out
And i know that its hard for you to swallow down
A world you created set to explode
You lie through your teeth and everyone knows
For once you should take what im willing to give
Or you'll stay stuck in the web that your trapped in
Everyones told you over and over again
Your making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyones told you
Everyone you left behind
Your making the biggest mistake of your life
It's a chance you should take
And i know its not an easy one to make
You should trust the ones that are closest to you
Everyones told you over and over again
Your making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyones told you
Everyone you left behind
Your making the biggest mistake of your life
You've made the biggest mistake of your life
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| WTF |
| 02.28.05 (11:36 pm) [edit] |
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I am pissed. Pissed at myself for watching too much reality TV, and pissed about how you get drawn into it!! So heres the deal. I've been watching the Bachelorette the past two months because I'm a loser. And tonight was the last one....she picked Jerry, who I wanted her to pick, but then they did this gay thing where after he proposed to her she was like "Well I just want to wait a little while to be engaged so I know everything will work out". So a few months go by, and they aired it tonight and this special afterwards where she was going to give Jerry her answer. She ended up saying she just wanted to be friends with him. WTF DOES THIS GIRL NEED TO MAKE HER HAPPY?? She had Andrew Firestone, then Jerry, who is like drop dead freaking gorgeous AND a Harry Winston engagement ring......what a dumb bitch. So that was like 2 months of my Monday nights wasted. THANKS. Anyways....after that Audrey and I went and watched Troy with Drew and Suz. It was SOOOO sad. And Brad Pitt looked amazing in it. I didn't expect it to be a sad movie but it made me cry! It was so depressing! I got my bday present from Muzzy in the mail today, this really pretty necklace from Tiffany (loves it). The chain is kind of short though so i'm going to go over to Scottsdale tomorrow and see if I can get a longer one. I can't wait til Saturday for my birthday party!! But I am even more excited for my birthday DINNER at Cheesecake Factory....my favorite place ever. Now I am hungry and I want cheesecake. I have eaten sooo much today. Oh and because Audrey and I are so hot, we didn't have to pay for our drinks at sonic tonight. How many of you can say that??? Well I'm going to be a myspace whore, so later
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| about last night.... |
| 02.27.05 (8:53 pm) [edit] |
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Last night was weird.....fun, but a lot of weird things happened. Audrey was missing and everyone freaked out, but she's OK so its all good. Jen and some of her friends came over for some pregame, except we didn't have much to drink so we went over to Amy and Suzy's.....hung out there for awhile then we all went over to this other kid's party in the Village (Jen's friend...well ex friend...Tom's Bday Party). It was really crowded and hot inside and smelled weird so Audrey and I hung out on the balcony for awhile. Then these two guys came outside, and I thought one was cool because he was wearing a UT hat so I was like yayyyy TEXAS!! But it turns out he was a huge tool. He and his friend smoked newports and kept telling racist jokes....they weren't funny or cool. So we went back inside and I played some flipcup. The girls kick ass. Except the drunker I got, I was having a hard time flipping. I met this guy named Shane who was from Smithson Valley and he was like fuck Southlake (bc we beat them at state) but he was actually really cool....so then other people were like eww Southlake....there are always random Texas people at parties here and automatically assume I'm a bitch. But i'm not. Well maybe sometimes. I met this kid from Plano, I had met him a few times before actually, his name was Shea....and he knew Brittany Kenter. Then he asked me if I knew this kid he used to hang out with in Plano named Michael Thomson that died. I was like ummm actually I was the one driving. So we had the whole accident convo and I started to cry so that was embarassing. Its just so random that he knew him. Then I met a kid from Grapevine. Small world....so all of us Texas people started talking about how amazing Taco Bueno is and how much we wished they had them in AZ. Then I called Pajo and talked to him about Taco Bueno. I'm going to see if when they come and visit if they will bring me some. That would be bomb. So we all eventually went back to Suz's, and Helli and I went to this mexican restaurant, like real mexican. They don't speak english there so Helli ordered everything in Spanish...I was impressed. The food was really good too! We went back and played Kings, and there was this crazy weird girl who works with Suzy, Andy, and Helli at Sports Authority and she kept on hugging me....it was weird. Audrey thought she was a lesbian but she was making out with some boy so maybe she was bi. I don't know. Jen was really upset bc this boy Tom was being mean to her so we tried to cheer her up but I don't think it helped. I sobered up and took Jen to her car and went home and the people downstairs were having a party and being really loud....it was 3:30 so I was not happy. They always bump their music and its not cool. Like I don't care if you have a party, but 3:30 is kind of late to be that loud....because it vibrates my walls and then I can't sleep and that makes me mad. Plus people were screaming and throwing beer bottles and stuff....not cool. So I went and slept in Audrey's room....they finally stopped being loud around 6 so I went back to my room. Then they started playing their music again at 10 AM. THAT IS FUCKING REDICULOUS!! It makes me really mad because we have talked to them before about how their music bothers us but they continue to do it. The next time that happens I'm going to talk to them. I don't want to be a bitch but it is just rude to play it THAT LOUD. You can enjoy your music without vibrating everyone elses walls. Annoying. Jen came over and hung out for a little bit and we watched the Oscars.....Scarlett Johanssen's hair looks like shit. Yeah so thats about it. Later.
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| I just don't remember.... |
| 02.25.05 (11:11 pm) [edit] |
So last night I got a "little" drunk......
I woke up this morning, well more like 2 pm, on my kitchen floor in my underwear. I can't figure this out because I wasn't wearing any underwear last night, so this means I had to go into my room and put on underwear....why I didn't pass out in my bed I don't know??? I also don't remember how I got home (it turns out Drew drove me because I tried to walk home from the village), I lost my shoes, I don't know where my phone is so I have been cut off from the world all day, I have bruises on my legs and cuts on my hand and arm.....so who knows. It started out with $3 scooners of Dos Equis at Bostons....I only had one, but when we left I was pretty buzzed....then we had to break out the shots of Skyy....I don't know how many I had. I remember everything up to the point where Skye and Liz came over and after that...nothing. Apparently there are pictures of Me and Audrey and Ross kissing....don't remember that. I barely remember Ross coming over! I do remember talking to Dom on the phone and having a heart to heart with Rob and Andy.....and I guess I thought it would be fun to play with Suzy's sunless tanner so now my hands are orange....oops. I'm just glad I didn't actually walk home bc thats a good 2 miles at least and I probably would've passed out somewhere along the way and get gang banged by the mexicans on Don Carlos. There is a party at the village tonight and I kind of wish I would have gone because I'm bored now, but I am still sooooo hungover. It hurts to move my head. I hate getting 24 hour hangovers.....I think I would've been fine if I didn't drink the beer....beer before liquor, never been sicker! So now I'm hanging out with Tig listening to Boyz II Men (Motown Philly has been in my head since The OC last night.....I AM SO HAPPY SETH AND SUMMER ARE BACK TOGETHER!). Oh and another thing. I didn't go to class today and my teacher said if I miss one more she is going to drop me, so I'm screwed if she does. I need to email her, but I don't even know what to say....I didn't train today either. So naughty. I just want to drop out of school and live on the beach in a sleeping bag. Seriously. That would be awesome. Then I could surf every day. Well....i'm going to try to pass out....
[b]Dislocated Styles[/b]---great song
[i]Liquified[/i]
I am falling and I cant get up
I tried to walk but almost threw up
Only took a few shots but that didnt last
This time Mr. Cuevo got the last laugh
I felt the burning going down my throat
So I had to follow it down with some crown and coke
Now Im twisted who got the herb lets get lifted
Carring it aroung two drinks double fisted
To all the nights that I came home
With my head hangin out the car window
Came sumbling through the front door
And passed out on the bathroom floor
Get liquified get up
Raise up your cups and drink up
Its as simple as that
Get liquified get up
when you see me in the club show me love
Cuz I'll give it right back
To all the nights that I came home
With my head hangin out the car window
Came sumbling through the front door
And passed out on the bathroom floor
Get liquified get up
Raise up your cups and drink up
Its as simple as that
Get liquified get up
when you see me in the club show me love
Cuz I'll give it right back
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| boo...you whore |
| 02.23.05 (11:17 pm) [edit] |
Audrey is making me write in my blog even though I really don't have anything to say. The finale of Project Runway was tonight, and Jay won.....I love Jay's personality but I wanted Kara Saun to win because I think her clothes are beautiful. I worked out with Larry today and he kicked my ass.....my arms hurt. Then I went tanning and the weird guy that works there hit on me (again), which I think is gross because I had just worked out and I was all nasty and sweaty. I really don't like being hit on at the gym....its kind of icky. Flattering I guess, but icky. I know LA Fitness is the Scottsdale Beautiful and Bulimic hangout and maybe they all come to check eachother out, but I don't want to have to worry about looking cute while i'm working out. Today in class we talked about beer for the entire time.... it was fun. My teacher was saying she used to pay 35 cents for a beer....now its like $5, which is rediculous. My teacher is only like 35 so its not like she was in college a long time ago or anything. I am really excited for Spring Break and can't wait to see the boys. Then my parents come the week after, and we are going to redo the kitchen (yay) and Timmy is coming too!! I actually miss the little shit.....even though at home she drives me insane. Yeah so i'm going to drink a beer....peace out
[b]Senses Fail[/b]
[i]Bloody Romance[/i]
Life, is floating fast away.
But I look, your head is turned away.
From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.
From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
You and me are like one heart-beat.
Back into I thought I knew, these words inside me, tell me what to do.
My heart held, in the palm of your hand.
Now I know, the way to go, this place inside my demented mind.
You saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor.
This time in silence, this time I win.
Now you will feel my pain
Forget my name
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| oops... |
| 02.23.05 (12:39 am) [edit] |
 | You scored as Marijuana. The most beautiful, chill drug out there. You want something that's not too harsh on your body, and soothes the soul. It's also not addicting, so smoke it up, baby! And never have to go through withdrawls.
Inhalents | | 81% | Marijuana | | 81% | Alcohol | | 69% | Ecstacy | | 56% | None! | | 50% | Mushrooms | | 50% | Cocaine | | 44% |
What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| my space whore |
| 02.20.05 (11:21 pm) [edit] |
I am such a loser....and its all Audrey's fault. I am completely addicted to myspace. It has become an obsession. It is the greatest feeling when you log on and it says "New Messages!" and "New Friend Requests!".....I love it. Facebook is gay but its fun to look at all the bitches you hated in high school that are now fat and bloated because of all the beer they drink. I'm not one to talk, but its still fun. Myspace is amazing. Tonight I found Ray Brady....the love of my life. And for those of you who don't know who that is....you aren't that cool anyway. My birthday is 2 weeks from today!! YAY! There is going to be a huge party......I wish the boys would be here for that, but its cool because we are going to have a party while they are here either way. Ummmm yeah so anyways, nothing too exciting today except there is no school tomorrow (President's Day) so I should be drinking but i'm not. I should also be doing my French homework but i'm not doing that either. Friday night when I was really pissed off and thought everyone was ditching me.....it turns out everyone got shitfaced by 10 pm and thought I was coming over but never showed up.....noo... you were just too drunk to call me and ask me to come over!! Apparently everyone was making out with everyone else.....Audrey had to makeout with Rob, Andy, AND Drew.....I don't know if I am glad I missed that or not? haha. We are like counting the days til the boys come....19 to be exact.....I am so stoked because I love them so much! They are seriously like my favorite people in the whole world. Well.......i'm going to get a drink so PEACE out dudes!
[b]Finch[/b]
[i]Waiting[/i]
Today is just like all the others
I'm not alright i've cried my last tears
I'm bleeding out my pain as you scream at me (Just Why?)
You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees
Another page of i'm sorry's addressed to me
Another story for the collection of memories folded neatly(Just Why?)
You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees
And I will never make the same mistake...
And I will never make the same mistake...
Cause I will never make the same mistake...
Cause I will never make the same mistake...
You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees
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| ...how did i end up here |
| 02.18.05 (11:48 pm) [edit] |
Somedays I wonder how the hell I ended up here....
I always thought my life would be so different. I wonder what would have happened if I would've taken the other path.....made different choices. I always felt that life was what was expected of me, picked out for me. I can see it: I would be at UT or SMU, be a Kappa, still hang out with all my high school friends, go home on the weekend. Would I be happier had I done that? Or felt like I was trying to be something I'm really not.....pretty much what I felt like for the majority of high school when I tried to fit the "southlake mold". What a waste of time. 2 years ago I would have never thought this is where I would be. But at the moment I am here........pissed off, not feeling good, homesick, missing Kylie and everyone else. I am kind of cracked out on cold medicine but I do think these thoughts every day. I just don't know anymore.
[b]Postal Service[/b]
[i]This Place Is A Prison[/i]
This place is a prison
And these people aren't your friends
Inhaling thrills through $20 bills
And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again
And again
Ther're guards at the on ramps armed to the teeth
And you may case the grounds from the cascades to puget sound,
But you are not permitted to leave
I know there's a big world out there like the one i saw on the screen
In my living room late last night,
It was almost too bright to see
And i know that it's not a party if it happens every night
Pretending there's glamour and candelabra
When you're drinking by candlelight
What does it take to get a drink in this place?
What does it take, how long must i wait?
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| drink up |
| 02.17.05 (1:15 am) [edit] |
Tonight Rob, Andy, and Guill came over.....which was cool because it feels like I haven't hung out with them in forever. I wish Drew had come too.....but I never ever get to see him anymore because he is always at the Village :( That makes me sad.....because I love Drew! Anyways.....I'm kind of sick so I just stayed in bed all day and had to cancel my trainer. MY THROAT HURTS SO BAD....but vodka makes it feel better haha. I took a nap, and I missed Alias.....I was thinking it was on at 9 for some reason. But I got to see Project Runway....I HATE WENDY! If Kara Saun doesn't win I will freak out. The boys came over around 11....just in time to ruin Newlyweds and Ashlee. I hate watching reality TV with them because they analyze everything and make fun of it.....Its just no fun. I don't care if Ashlee can't really sing, I still love her!! Then we played some drinking games.....I was planning on getting really drunk but then we watched the Grudge and I didn't really continue to drink even though everyone else was....theres a first! So I just took Andy and Guill home....Rob's still hanging out. I need to get a job. My parents give me money and said I don't have to work but I like to have extra money so I can go shopping. I haven't been shopping in FOREVER. I was planning on going to Kitson and Lisa Kline on Saturday but that didn't work out. Its probably for the best because I would've blown way too much money. I AM SO EXCITED....my birthday is in 18 days, and you guys better throw me a party.....and the boys are coming in 24!! I can't wait.......well I am tired so im going to sleep! Nighty night
[b]Spitalfield[/b] ---- new cd kicks ass
[i]What Were We Thinking[/i]
its a cold night
but i warm up as you walk by
and im watching you
i always do
and its alright
ive dreamt this dream a thousand times
and this time
i know what to do
i know what to do
when we go out
i wanna let it go
spinning in slow motion as we fall apart
you can throw out the instructions
we dont need them anymore
i know where we are going
if i could just get out the door
youve got your perfect hands
youve got your perfect hands
over my nervous heart
i can never act this way again
can never feel this way again
not afraid of falling down
wait up
wait up
wait up
ive got some ways
i cannot wait
im looking in your eyes
talk to me so beautifully
when we go out
i wanna let it go
spinning in slow motion as we fall apart
you can throw out the instructions
we dont need them anymore
i know where we are going
if i could just get out the door
youve got your perfect hands
youve got your perfect hands
over my nervous heart
i cant feel
i cant feel alone
i cant feel
when i breathe you in
i cant feel my heart
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| you didn't buy me one single flower....not even a dying cardnation! |
| 02.14.05 (8:22 pm) [edit] |
♥VALENTiNES DAY♥
I am not one of those people that gets all upset if I don't have a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I think thats stupid. The only time I have ever had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day was twice with Marc, and those are my Valentine's memories. I don't need a boy to make me feel good about myself. I have never been one of those girls who always has to have a boyfriend or be dating someone.....I hate that. It is pointless to be with someone just so you aren't alone.....make it count. I could think that because I got burned so bad by Marc, or maybe its because I'm super picky. And I also have a bunch of friends that ALWAYS have to be with a guy, and it just makes me think if they will ever be OK by themselves. What if they get married and never know what its like to be independent and be on their own and not really know who they are? I think thats sad. I mean, if you find your true love and never have to be without them thats awesome. But for most people that's not the case. Anyways. There is my opinion on valentines day. I went to class today, worked out, went tanning, and went to Safeway. It was not until I got to Safeway that I got kind of pissed off. There were all these stupid people in there buying the last dying roses for $6 per rose, which is dumb. If that person really means that much to you, you would've gotten them something before 9 pm on Valentines Day. And all I wanted was a chocolate cupcake. Thats all I fucking wanted. But no, they only had vanilla. I was pissed. I have wanted a chocolate cupcake for 4 days now, and I even did 30 minutes extra cardio to make up for the calories I was planning on eating. But I didn't get my damn cupcake. And that makes me mad. Audrey was supossed to get me a cinnamon roll at IKEA but she never came home. I am assuming she is at Rob's. Well, I am going to take a shower, read my new cosmo, then probably go to sleep since I have class early tomorrow....booo. 26 DAYS TIL THE BOYS COME :)
p.s. i LOVE this song
[b]The Postal Service[/b]
[i]Against All Odds[/i]
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you (ooh..)
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave?
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've gotta face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've gotta face
Take a look at me now
I'll just be standing here
And you coming back to me
Is against the odds
And that's a chance I've gotta face
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| back in the AZ |
| 02.12.05 (8:44 pm) [edit] |
Soo....this weekend didn't turned out exactly as planned. I was so excited to go to San Diego and LA, and it ended up not being that great. Audrey and I left around 1 on Thursday, and it rained pretty much the whole way there....we had to drive through the mountains and it was scary. And then Audrey got us lost so we drove a whole hour in the wrong direction and had to turn around. And then at the place where we were supossed to turn around there was a really bad car accident and the guy died....he was in a body bag so I assumed he died. I got really upset and almost threw up because car accidents make me think of Michael. It was really sad......so after that we finally got going the right way, and got to Audrey's mom's house around 7....so it took us 7 hours to get there when it should've taken about 5. We watched the OC with her mom....loves it....and then went and hung out with some of Audrey's friends. They were really cool......they reminded me of the boys at home (who BTW are coming in 28 days!!!!). The next day it was still gross and raining, but we went to La Jolla and drove around, then went to PB Bar, where Robin got arrested on the Real World.....I'm such a dork. We ate lunch but then got kicked out because we weren't 21....it was 3 pm!! Who gets wasted at 3 pm on a weekday?? Wait, don't answer that......haha. We went back to the house and took a nap because the food was nasty and made us sick, then we watched The Notebook with Audrey's mom.....such a sad movie!! Then we went to ZBT at SDSU and it was really fun. Their frat houses are SOOOOOO cute.....not gross like ours! But not like in Texas either, because the Texas ones are all mansiony like you see in the movies, but these ones were cute and stucco. It was fun except these guys kept trying to get me to dance with them and I just wasn't really in the mood bc I was DD and I only like to dance when I'm drunk! There was this boy that I thought looked like Jake, and I was like ummmm you're hot, lets makeout, but it turns out he actually looked nothing like Jake, only dressed like him. Oops. He was hot from far away though. Today we were supossed to drive up to OC, meet up with Ashley, then go to LA.....but that didn't work out. Apparently, something happened and Stephen checked himself out of rehab so she had to like babysit him and didn't want to leave him. Thats cool, I drive 7 hours to see you and you can't leave your boyfriend?? I guess I kind of understand, but I was really disappointed. You would think someone almost 20 years old could take care of themself but I guess not. She said we could still come up but it wouldn't be any fun....I was thinking about just going up to LA and getting a hotel, but we decided just to go home. The drive took forever.....actually only 5 hours but it seemed really long. We had to stop at this really scary gas station and I thought we were going to die. But other than that, the drive was alot better than the way there. So we're just hanging out and drinking now......I plan on getting completely trashed and passing out. PEACE.
p.s. valentines day sucks and is stupid and i'm not just saying that bc I don't have a bf.....I've always thought it is HIGHLY overrated
[b]Starting Line[/b]
[i]Left Coast Envy[/i]
ay could be a different day
if the sky lifts up the haze
off of my front lawn
or just another time i hold my tears
for another year
on my way back home
can i sell this sunrise, in return for a sunset? yeah..
can i just be here one more day, until my sunburn fades away?
I've asked a hundred times what's going on
but it went through one ear and out the other one
why can't i take a palm tree home with me?
for the memory of you when i'm at home
I've been looking forward, months back
vacation's everything we need...
can i sell this sunrise, in return for a sunset? yeah..
can i just be here one more day, until my sunburn fades away?
I'm taking pictures
of everything
to remind me of the place that's so perfect for me
and i'm taking pictures (taking pictures)
of everything (of everything)
so go ahead and take this place away from me
today could be another day
when the sky lifts up the haze
off of my front lawn
just another time i hold my tears
for another year
on my way back home
can i sell this sunrise, in return for a sunset? yeah..
can i just be here one more day, until my sunburn fades away?
can i
sell this sunrise, in return for a sunset? yeah..
can i just be here one more day, until my sunburn fades away?
can i sell this sunrise, in return for a sunset? yeah..
can i just be here one more day, until my sunburn fades away?
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| soooo stoked for CALI!!! |
| 02.09.05 (10:11 pm) [edit] |
First I have to go off on something:
WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE JUDGES ON PROJECT RUNWAY THINKING?????? Are you doing black tar heroin? OH MY GOD, EW! WENDY SUCKS BALLS!!! She shouldn't even be there......Alexandra should have made it to the final 4, and it should be Kara Saun, Jay, and Austin in the final 3. To be a fashion designer you need to be FASHIONABLE. Wendy is GROSS. She wears GROSS clothes and has GROSS hair and she is just GROSS. I know I get way too sucked into reality tv, but as somebody who is seriously considering a career in fashion I would never choose her. EW. Ok anyways.....
I am SOOOOOOO excited Audrey and I are going to Cali tomorrow!! We are going to San Diego first then to see my Lambchop!!! We are going out in LA on saturday......but If I got to LA I might never come back. When I see Ash I am seriously going to cry because I haven't seen her in forever and I miss her so much! And I found out that Jake and Pajo are for sure coming to visit for spring break.....I can't wait!! Thats less than a month away! I love them both they are the coolest boys ever! I can't wait to show them around and maybe even go to Mexico....it depends on how long they stay. AHHHHHHH I am so excited I want to jump up and down! I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow so we could leave tomorrow morning, but I only have class til 1 so its ok.....we should get there by 6, latest, which means we will be there in time to watch the OC!! Well I have to go do some homework since I won't be here all weekend, and I probably won't sleep because I AM SO STOKED!!!!!!!!!!! :)
[b]Wave[/b]
[i]California[/i]
On a lonely day
I look out on the freeway
I can, fantasize 'bout the car I drive
Don't leave the light on
I can find my way
It's been so long now I have to say...
I'm going to california
gonna live the life
sipping on tequila night after night
dreaming of the moment when everything looks right
a little bit of love goes a long way tonight
I'm on my way
Heading for the sun
that's where I'll stay
I'm never going back home
do you ever fell like
you need a change
hang out where no one knows your name
I'm going to california
gonna live the life
sipping on tequila night after night
dreaming of the moment when everything looks right
a little bit of love goes a long way tonight
would you like to meet me there?
We'll be dancing on the sand
These days will never win
cause the world goes on and on
On a lonely day
I look out on the freeway
I can, fantasize 'bout the car I drive
Don't leave the light on
I can find my way
It's been so long now I have to say
It's been so long now I have to say...
I'm going to california
gonna live the life
sipping on tequila night after night
dreaming of the moment when everything looks right
a little bit of love goes a long way tonight
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| i miss kylie :( |
| 02.08.05 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
I just talked to Kylie for 2 hours on the phone....I miss her so much! Whenever I talk to her it really wants to make me transfer......I wish she would come here, but it would be better if I was there because then I would be close to all my family and other friends. The thing is, it took me so long to adjust here, I don't want to do it again. I don't want to leave Audrey.....and its so pretty here. I can go to LA whenever I want, and I get to see palm trees every day.....but its not the same. If I went to UT, who would I live with?? I know people that go there, but nobody I'm that good of friends with. Plus, I probably couldn't transfer til next spring at the earliest, and that would be stupid just to transfer for senior year. But if I did, it would be easier to get into law school there......I just don't know. Boo hoo. I have not been happy here lately, hopefully this weekend in Cali will cheer me up. Tonight Audrey, Rob, and I went to Pick Up Stix.....yummm. I wanted to drink tonight, since it is Mardi Gras, but Audrey and Rob were upstairs and I just felt like the third wheel so I left. I was going to go workout, but I was still hungover from last night...ooops. I have missed a bunch of classes the past 2 weeks because of my stupid car. My photography teacher wants me to drop the class because I missed 2 classes.....SORRY MY CAR WOULDN'T FREAKING START!!! I'm pissed because I spent all this money for that class, and I've already paid for that class, so its just a waste. That makes me mad. Well I am tired, and I for sure have to go to class tomorrow, so i'm going to sleep.....
[b]Yellowcard[/b]
[i]Miles Apart[/i]
If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find
We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away
We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up, give it all away
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
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| blah |
| 02.07.05 (5:45 pm) [edit] |
This weekend ended up being OK.....minus the whole car thing. This morning I had my car towed to a repair shop, and its only going to be around $300 to fix it, I thought it would be alot more. Saturday night Audrey and I went to a party at one of Amy's friends house with Andy and Ross, but we didn't stay for that long. Suzy, Ross, and I did some Jager shots and then we jumped on the trampoline....it was fun. I wanted to hang out with Drew because I haven't seen him that much lately, and he went over to Suzy and Amy's apartment, so we ended up going over there. We hung out for awhile, and I didn't get too drunk because I didn't want a repeat of last weekend! We went over to one of Helli's friends apartment and everyone else played drinking games.....Aud and I just kind of chilled. I finally met this boy, Sawyer, that everyone always talks about.....he is moving in with Rob and Drew next year. He is really cool and really cute! Yesterday we went over to Rob's to watch the Super Bowl and grilled burgers and hot dogs for Audrey.....Rob made some bomb ribs. I had to do French homework while I was over there so I wasn't too much fun. I didn't go to class because I was trying to get my car fixed today, but I did go tanning and worked out with Jason.... I'm sore!! I'm soooooooooooooo excited about going to Cali on Thursday!!! I get to see my LAMBCHOP! Yay! And I am stoked to meet Audrey's mom and her friends....we are going to a party at SDSU so that should be fun.....I feel like I am betraying Kylie by going to LA without her....it won't be the same! But it will still be alot of fun. Well I have to finish a lab soooo later!
[b]Spitalfield[/b]
[i]I Loved The Way She Said LA[/i]
say the things you say
and your dreaming like you do
you know sometimes circles run around you
hey now lets be honest
i really think its true
you know sometimes we all bend the rules
you've runned a life
you've been around
you love to live to hate this town
and i hope and dream just like you do
yeah weve been here twice before
you want it to mean so much more
and i hope that every thing goes through
she goes to california, oh
california is not so far
when i close my eyes and wonder where you are
and you wish upon a star
two thousand miles doesn't seem so far
you play the games you play
you win sometimes you loose
you know sometimes walls run into you
now you got me thinking
and i really think it's true
the sun shines sometimes just for you
you've runned a life
you've been around
you love to live to hate this town
and i hope and dream just like you do
yeah weve been here twice before
you want it to mean so much more
and i hope that every thing goes through
she goes to california, oh
california is not so far
when i close my eyes and wonder where you are
and you wish upon a star
two thousand miles doesn't seem so far
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| I want to scream |
| 02.05.05 (4:15 pm) [edit] |
What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.....and its only 6:00.
Today started out good, its gorgeous outside, I was in a great mood because Audrey and I were having a Mardi Gras party at my house....we went and bought $40 worth of beads and went and bought her a mattress. I got some really cute palm tree candles at Pier 1. Then we went to IKEA. Everything was fine until we were going to leave and my car wouldn't start (again). My car is a 2002, and I love it, it is my baby....but it has been having all these problems lately. The breaks are squeaky, the battery keeps dying, etc.....so it won't start and there are like 12 trillion people at IKEA staring at it is really embarassing. Finally the people who were parked next to us came out and tried to jump my car but it wouldn't start. At this point I am super pissed off and about to either scream or cry. We thank the people and they leave so we call Rob to come get us. I called my Dad, and he was a dick and blamed the whole thing on me (how it is my fault I don't know) and said I probably need a new starter which is like $450 and he said he won't pay for it. Which is funny because he constantly reminds me that he paid for the car so it is technically his car and he is just letting me use it. SO PAY TO FIX YOUR FUCKING CAR!!! He makes me so mad. Rob came and looked at it, and this man in a boy scout uniform looked at it and they both agreed it is probably the starter. Fabulous. So Rob brought us home, and I decided I am way too pissed off to have a party tonight and I don't want to clean.....so I bought beads for no reason??? I guess we could have the party on Tuesday which is actually Mardi Gras but I don't know. We would do it next weekend but Audrey and I are going to California on Thursday....which kind of cheers me up. Somedays I just hate it here and I want to go home. I miss everyone there. And I am going to kill the neighbors because they are playing their fucking music loud again and its shaking my fucking wall. So I think I will go and scream at them now. I need a drink or something or I am going to freak out. GRRRRRRRR
[b]Rooney[/b]
[i]You're On The Edge[/i]
You're out on the edge
But nobody sees you
Your out on the edge
But not in danger
Cause your only 2 feet above the ground
Your out on a mission, for recognition
Your out on a mission, for a show to sellout
But you've already sold out
Yes, you fucking sellouts
No one, no one cares
How close you were you the edge
No one, no one sees the dangers to yourself
yayaya
You need a break apart from the eagles
You need a break, to find a new image
Cuz your not rock stars, but you should be
Your out on a mission, for recognition
Your out on a mission, for a show to sellout
I figured you out
So convex
No one, no one cares
How close you were you the edge
No one, No one sees the dangers for yourself
Ya, o yes, o yes, they're coming on strong
Maybe by Monday the songs will move on
But, youll meltdown, youll meltdown, youll meltdown, youll meltdown, youll meltdown!!!
No one, no one cares
How close you were you the edge
No one, No one sees the changes in yourself
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| yoga is no fun |
| 02.02.05 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
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Sooo....I suck at yoga. Audrey and I were on a fitness kick today, so we went to the gym and then we did yoga....i kept falling and stuff.....those people are crazy. I joined LA Fitness, and tomorrow I'm meeting with a personal trainer for a fitness assessment....scary!! I am soooo out of shape though, I really want to start working out hardcore again. I slacked off and didn't go to class today...I don't know why, but I just couldn't get out of bed. I missed this huge assignment in Art so I am probably screwed.....tomorrow we are going over to Camelback after my lecture, so that will be fun. I want to go up to Sedona on Saturday, but I think we are going to have a Mardi Gras party....funn!! I am even going to make a Kings Cake (yummy) and we are going to have green, purple, and yellow jello shots and buy beads and stuff. I'm excited! I wish I was going to the real Mardi Gras....I am soooo jealous of Paj and Jake that they get to go!! My Soph. year I got to be a Mardi Gras Princess and be on a float....it was amazing. Its Groundhogs Day, so we were going to drink....but last Wednesday we got totally wasted and I didn't go to lecture or lab and since I missed class today I HAVE to go tomorrow. Nothing too exciting to write about.....but Project Runway is on now so I'm gonna go....later
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| hahaha |
| 02.01.05 (10:25 pm) [edit] |
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| The Morning After.... |
| 01.29.05 (1:10 pm) [edit] |
Last night was a little crazy......and I have a massive hangover right now! It is also HAILING outside....so thats weird because that doesn't happen in Arizona!! Anyways.....last night we got some Skyy, and Rob came over and I thought the 3 of us were just going to hang out and drink or whatever, but then Andy called and said Ross was having a party so we decided to go to that. By this point, Audrey and I were kind of drunk, and I was thinking oh wouldn't it be fun to wear fake eyelashes?? Well the glue had a clot in it or something so I was trying to squeeze it out but then it exploded and got all in my hair. SICK. So I had to wash my hair again and Audrey had to scrape it all out....I thought I was going to have to cut my hair off or something. It took us like an hour to decide what to wear and Rob was getting SO PISSED....we did some more shots then headed out. We were going to meet up with Andy and Ross at Andy's house, but there was a party across the street so Audrey and I wandered over there and started talking to random people then got beer cups......so we ended up staying there. Then the cops came, so we ran inside this house that belonged to these 2 really cool girls....and I did some Jager Bombs with them....yummm. So after the coast is clear, Audrey and I go back outside and start talking to these boys....this one guy, Rory, was from South Africa and had an accent and played rugby.....in my drunken state I thought he was cute but now that I am sober I really don't think he was. Plus he was shorter than me....EW....but we were hanging out and talking and we ended up making out.....he like choked me with his tongue....gross. Then he tried to get me to go back to his place, and I was like ummmm I don't do that, so he left.....I hope he doesn't call me. It was weird though because he lived in Dallas for a little bit and dated a girl I knew from Southlake.....random. So then Skye ended up coming over with Holly and we went over to Andy's house.....I LOVE HOLLY! We took a bunch of drunk pictures....it was fun. I left my Skyy somewhere, so I was sad I didn't have it, but it was for the best because I think if I would've kept drinking I would've gotten out of control drunk and passed out in the yard or something....I was already really wasted. I sobered up a little bit because for some reason I was outside talking to these boys and I smoked a bunch of cigarettes....you know i'm trashed when I want to smoke. Audrey was really wasted by this point, and she wanted to pass out in Drew's bed but I said we should go home, so she ran over to Andy's and tried to pass out on the sofa bed.....but we ended up getting her into Rob's car somehow. Rob took Skye home, then we went to Jack and got all this nasty ass food......he dropped us off and we passed out. When we woke up this morning we were both still drunk.....I love when that happens....hahaha....but I had the worst headache!! And the stupid fucking neighbors were bumping their stupid fucking music at 10 AM and it was keeping me awake and making my headache even worse.....I am going to kill them one day. So I just woke up, and its like monsooning outside.....I don't get it, it rained 3 TIMES TOTAL the whole entire year last year, and it has been raining so much lately. Yuck. This is not why I moved to AZ....I can get that at home, thanks! Well I think i'm going to go back to sleep.....check out my picturetrail thingy later, I'm going to put up the pics from last night when I wake back up.
....this is Audrey's song for me, even though its about a prostitute!!! hahahaha
[b]Jack Johnson[/b]
[i]Taylor[/i]
They say Taylor was a good girl
never one to be late
complain express ideas in her brain
Workin on the night shift
passin out the tickets
you're gonna have to pay her
if you want to park here.
Well mommy's little dancer's
quite a little secret
workin on the streets now
never gonna keep it.
It's quite an imposition
And now she's only wishin'
That she would have listened
To the words they said.
Poor Taylor.
Well she just wanders around
uneffected by
the winter winds, yeah
and she'll pretend that
well she's somewhere else
so far and clear
about 2,000 miles from here.
Peter Patrick pitter patters on the window
And Sunny's silhouette won't let him in
and poor old Pete's got nothin 'cause he's been fallin'
but somehow Sunny knows just where he's been
He thinks that singin' on a Sunday's gunna save his soul
but now that Saturday's gone
Well sometimes he thinks that he's on his way
but I can see, that his break lights are on
And he just wanders around
uneffected by
the winter winds, yeah
and he'll pretend that
well he's somewhere else
so far and clear
about 2,000 miles from here.
She's such a tough enchilada
filled up with nada
givin' what she got to give to get dollar bills
she used to be a limber chick
time's a been tickin'
now she's finger lickin to the man
with the money in his pockets
flyin in his rocket
only stoppin by on his way to a better world
if Taylor finds a better world
Taylor's gunna run away
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| slacker!! |
| 01.27.05 (8:57 pm) [edit] |
Audrey didn't have class today, so we decided to drink last night......we got really wasted and called Pajo because he loves us!! He also thinks we are insane. Which is cool. I want them to come visit SO BAD! Anyways....I tried to wake up for class today, I swear I did, but when I woke up at 9 I was still drunk and if I would've gone to school I would've gotten a DUI or Public Intoxication probably. So I went back to sleep. Not a great idea to miss your first quiz and lab due......but shit happens. Besides, your two lowest labs get dropped, and I had no idea what I was doing on this lab so I would've gotten a bad grade anyways. There is Taylor logic for you!! So when we woke up we went to In N Out... which is the best hangover food EVER. Umm random thought: The loser Good Charlotte guy needs to stop molesting Hilary Duff. Gross. Yeah.......so we came back from In N Out, and I went back to sleep....then we watched the OC!! My favorite time of the week!! I know all of you boys are disappointed that Alex and Marissa didn't get it on today, but watch out for next week.....I don't like girls and I'm not a lesbian but I would totally hook up with either of them. Especially since Alex looks like FORBIDDEN! Then we went to KFC and got some Mashed Potatoes....I'm not sure why. And now we are making more Jello Shots. We have class tomorrow, but not until 12, so lets hope we can make it. It is my favorite class though.....MCO! Its like Middle School so I love it. I think we might take a road trip up to Sedona on Saturday because I have a photo assignment and I don't want to have the same pics as everyone else, plus I've never been there and theres not really anything else to do during the day so if anyone wants to go.....I was talking to my lambchop last night and I miss her so much!!! Kylie too.....but I miss Kylie like every second of every day!!! :cry: Well I think the jello shots are done so later!
this song reminds me of my little LAMB!!
[b]Homegrown[/b]
[i]Surfer Girl[/i]
I was at the beach, sitting on the sand
When I saw this girl
Dark brown eyes, and a dark olive tan
She was watching the sets
With a surfboard underneath her arm
The first moment I saw her I knew she'd do me some harm
She's so good
She came out of the water
From the best session I'd seen
Man, she had the biggest chi chis I had ever seen
She put down her board, and sat down next to me
And played a soft ole lonely tune, on her ukulele
I don't know what had happened But I'd fallen asleep
The next morning I woke up
She was sleeping next to me
I fell in love with her
I'm so in love with her
I fell in love with her
My little Surfer Girl
She got out of bed
Waxed up both our boards
Grabbed me by the hand and then she took me out the door
We surfed all that day long
At least eight hours straight
Man! I knew she was the one
And damn I couldn't wait
Well I asked if she loved me
She said, "Yeah well I guess"
So I asked her to marry me
Dammit, you know she said "yes"
I fell in love with her
I'm so in love with her
I fell in love with her
My little Surfer Girl
I was at the alter
In my tuxedo-o-o
Waiting for my Surfer Girl
Man, where did she go
Later on that day
A friend to me did tell-ell-ell
That she went to Mexico
To catch a, to Catch a, to catch a 10 foot swell
That Bitch
I fell in love with her
I'm so in love with her
I fell in love with her
My little Surfer Girl
My Surfer Girl
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| soooo true! |
| 01.25.05 (5:25 pm) [edit] |
You Know You Drink Too Much When... |
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Hotties.
You have a "happy hour" at home
When you are sober, people ask you what's wrong?
You spend all night making a board game called Alcohol Land
Although you drove home the other night you can't remember how you got home or where you parked your car
"Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."
Your favorite drink is ethanol.
"Why does everybody think I have a prinking droblem?! - I don't have a prinking droblem!"
"I don't have a drinking prob..pleb..prub.. *hic* Pash me another, tarbender."
You can spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their (your) collapse.
You instinctively know where the alcohol is in a store you've never been in before
Clubs raise their drink prices because you haven't attended in a while
You think beer and ramen make a good breakfast
You frequently urinate outdoors.
When you first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour later you're afraid you won't.
You fall asleep taking a dump.
You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
You find it's easier to study drunk.
You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.
Beer ads make sense.
You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.
The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".
You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
You mix your cocktails by the litre.
You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.
You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic Zen-like piss.
When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
"Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar.
You can focus better with one eye closed
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
You fall off the floor.
You discover in the morning that liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore.
The glass keeps missing your mouth.
Vampires get woozy after bitting you.
At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.
If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.
"Take me drunk, I'm home!"
You wake up naked lying in the corner of a bus depot.
You drink to get over a hangover.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who drink too much. |
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