What is your name?: Taylor
Are you named after anyone?: Some 80s singer….Taylor Dayne

What's your screename?:  &n bsp;Tayfabb
Would you name a child of yours after you?: No
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:  I was supossed to be a boy, and they were going to name me Parker
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: Kylie….I love her name
Basics
Your gender: Female
Straight/Gay/Bi: Straight
Single?:  Yeah
Do you want to be single?: not really
Birthdate: March 6th
Your age:: 19
Age you act:: It depends….sometimes older, sometimes younger
Age you wish you were:  21
Your height: 5’10”
Eye color: Green
Happy with it?: Yeah I like my eyes
Hair color: Red
Happy with it?:  I always wanted to be blonde….but Lindsay Lohan made red hair cool!
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous : Righty
Your living arrangement: I live with my cat Tiger
Your family: Live in Texas….I miss my mommy L
Have any pets?: yes….my cat tiger is here with me, and I have a siamese and yellow lab at home
Whats your job?: Nordstrom
Piercings?: My ears….took out my belly button
Tattoos?: Angel wings on my lower back
Obsessions?: Shopping, The color pink, The OC, One Tree Hill, Juicy Couture….
Addictions?:  Shopping…..seriously my parents made me go to counseling for it….you think im kidding, im not
Do you speak another language?: French
Do you have a webpage?: You're here reading this right?
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it: Don’t ever take anyone for granted, because they might not be here tomorrow
Do you live in the moment?: Yeah, sometimes too much
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: most of the time
Do you have any secrets?: yes
Do you hate yourself?: it depends on the day!
Do you like your handwriting?: It used to be a lot cuter!
Do you have any bad habits?: I’m really messy, and I spend money I don’t necessarily have
What is the compliment you get from most people?: I have pretty eyes or cute clothes
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Seeing Red, Thinking Pink
What's your biggest fear?: Not getting married til im 30 or something and ending up like Charlotte on Sex and the City
Can you sing?: No, but I sing in my car all the time
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: um no
Are you a loner?: no….im always around people unless im sleeping
What are your #1 priorities in life?: my family and friends
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Yeah I’m fun to hang out with
Are you a daredevil?: sometimes
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I hate being tall….I hate that I get my feelings hurt too easily and I take things too personally
Are you passive or agressive?: It all depends I'm a little of both.
Do you have a journal?: this thing
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: I’m very loyal, but im really insecure
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I would be shorter
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Yes….ive dealt with things most people don’t go through in their whole life
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: The entire summer of my sophomore year
Do you think life has been good so far?: Parts of it
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don’t ever take anything for granted
What do you like the most about your body?: My eyes
And least?: My stomach and height….
Do you think you are good looking?: sometimes
Are you confident?: sometimes
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Marissa on the OC
Are you perceived wrongly?: people probably think i'm a snob but im not
Do You...
Smoke?: nope
Do drugs?: say no!
Read the newspaper?: sometimes
Pray?: every night before I go to sleep
Go to church?: when I’m at home
Talk to strangers who IM you?: no
Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes….my teddy bear howard
Take walks in the rain?: No
Talk to people even though you hate them?: yes
Drive?: yes
Like to drive fast?: that’s why I have a radar detector
Been out of the country?: Cabo in August
Been in love?: yes

Done drugs?: yes
Gone skinny dipping?: yes
Had a medical emergency?: yes
Had surgery?: yes
Ran away from home?: Yes…my dad reported my car stolen….that sucked
Played strip poker?: yes
Gotten beaten up?: no
Beaten someone up?: no….ive  always wanted to though
Been picked on?: yes
Been on stage?: yes
Slept outdoors?: ew
Thought about suicide?: not for a long time
Pulled an all nighter?: many of them
Gone one day without food?: yes
Talked on the phone all night?: yes
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: yeah last weekend

Slept all day?: pretty much every day
Kissed someone? Andy
Made out with a stranger?: no
Had sex with a stranger?: no
Thought you're going crazy?: all the time
Kissed the same sex?: once….very drunk at sigma pi
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: nope
Been betrayed?: yes
Had a dream that came true?: kind of
Broken the law?: yes

Met a famous person?: yep
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: I accidentially ran over a bunny once L
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: oops
Stolen anything?: I stole nail polish from walmart once
Been in a mosh-pit?: many times
Had a nervous breakdown?: I'm almost sure of it.
Bungee jumped?: yes
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yes and I have this one where I’m in the backseat of a car and nobody is driving but the car is going fast and I am trying to get to the breaks in time…..i hate that dream
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?: not really
Miracles?: sometimes
Astrology?: my horoscope always comes true
God?: yes
Satan?: if you believe in god you believe in satan   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;  

Santa?: not anymore
Ghosts?: not really
Luck?: yes
Love at first sight?: like at first sight
Witches?: no
Easter bunny?: no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: no
Do you wish on stars?: yes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: yes
Do you think God has a gender?: I think god is a guy, since he is the father
Do you believe in organized religion?: yes, but I respect peoples decisions not to
Where do you think we go when we die?: heaven or hell
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Jeff and James….maybe Brandon?
Who is your best friend?: Kylie, Ashley, Skye
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Kacy
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: Skye tells me not to look into things too much and just go with it

Your favorite inside joke?: Liz wants to eat your ass out
Thing you're picked on most about?: probably the way I act when I’m drunk
Who's your longest known friend?: Kacy
Newest?: Liz
Shyest?:: not very many of my friends are shy
Funniest?: Kylie or Ashley
Sweetest?: Laura
Closest?: Kylie
Weirdest?: Kylie
Smartest?: Andy or Rob
Ditziest?: Kylie or Ashley
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Kacy
Last person you talked to online?: Skye
Who do you talk to most online?:  Kylie
Who are you on the phone with most?: Skye, Chris, or Kylie
Who do you trust most?: probably Skye
Who listens to your problems?: Kylie or Ashley
Who do you fight most with?: Jake
Who's the nicest?: Laura
Who's the most outgoing?: Kylie or Ashley
Who's the best singer?: Rob
Who's on your shit-list?: actually nobody at the moment….thats a first
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: Jeff
Who's your second family?: Kacys
Do you always feel understood?: No
Who's the loudest friend?: Ashley
Do you trust others easily?: way too easily
Who's house were you last at?: Andy’s
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Andy's
Do your friends know you?: Yes
Friend that lives farthest away: Kendall
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: No
What do you find romantic?: sleeping together
Turn-on?: Blue eyes
Turn-off?: Shortness
First kiss?: Scott Timms
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: Kind of in that situation….and I really like them as a friend, but not more than a friend
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: yes
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: not really….i hate asking guys out
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I don't know
What is best about the opposite sex?: They aren’t into drama
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: They can totally fuck you over
What's the last present someone gave you?: My tiara!
Are you in love?: not right now
Do you consider your significant other hot?: I don’t really have one per say, but the person I like is really hot!!
Who Was the Last Person...
You wanted to kill?: not saying…
That you laughed at or with?: Skye, Andy, Liz
That laughed at you?: Skye, Andy, Liz
That turned you on?: Andy
You went shopping with?: Skye
That broke your heart?: Marc
To disappoint you?: Kylie
To make you cry?: Nobody in particular….just being homesick
You saw a movie with?: Skye
You talked to on the phone?: Skye
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Chris
You saw?: Skye, Andy, Liz
You lost?: ummm?
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: no its 5:30 in the morning
Will it be with your significant other?: N/A
Or some random person?: n/a
What are you wearing right now?: boxers and a tank top
What are you worried about right now?: too much to explain
What book are you reading?: The Virgin Suicides
What's on your mousepad?: I don’t have one
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: tired, bored, bored, bored, really bored….
Are you bored?: umm obviously
Are you tired?: yes
Are you talking to anyone online?: no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: in between
Are you listening to music?: dashboard

This weekend ended up being not so successful, party wise, but it was nice to just kind of chill. I don’t want this year to end up like last year where all I do every weekend is get trashed. That gets real old real fast! Last night Skye and I went with Andy and Rob to this 80’s party, which was fun, but it was kind of last minute so I didn’t get to dress up! But we only got to stay about 15 minutes when one of Skye’s sorority sisters showed up and she had to sneak out because she didn’t go to their date party that night bc she was sick. So if they saw her out she would’ve gotten in big trouble. I didn’t want to ask Andy and Rob to leave so they ended up staying and getting a ride from someone else. But the party ended up getting busted like 20 minutes later so it wasn’t a big deal. We went and picked up Japanese David and his friend Richard from a party and they were TRASHED. Especially Richard. He was sooooooo funny though. We went back to Skyes, and I didn’t leave til around 5. Liz didn’t get home from Sigma Chi until 6, so she drove the boys home. I was too tired! Today I intended to go shopping, but I didn’t wake up til 5 and the bank was closed, so I couldn’t get money out. I lost my debit card and haven’t gotten the new one yet so I have to go withdraw money from the bank. It’s a pain in my ass, because I will go and get money out and spend it all, then have to go back. It started raining and thundering here around 6, which it NEVER does (seriously last year I think it rained twice) and my power went out so I went over to Skyes. We watched the Girl Next Door, then the ASU game on TV. I wanted to go to the game but I didn’t have a ticket or money!! We actually won 44-7, against a good team!! I was like where is our actual team and who are these good football players? Andy, Rob, and Guill were at the game, and I tried to go pick them up so they wouldn’t have to walk, but University was so backed up they actually walked past my car…they got home before I did!! Oh well, I tried. We were going to go to this party, but they were all really tired so we ended up just hanging out at Andy’s. He is going to have no voice tomorrow from the game. We watched about 10 episodes of Room Raiders, but it was chill. I would rather hang out there than go to a big party sometimes. We left there around 4 bc everyone was falling asleep. Well, I’m going to pass out, because I actually want to wake up to go shopping tomorrow!!! This song is from the Girl Next Door, and I LOVE it!

David Gray

This Years Love

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

you can tell i'm drunk because my eyes are all squinty...dont you love my tiara???

If there is one thing I hate, its thinking about the M word. The M word being Marc. And that is what I’ve done today…ew. Marc is my ex boyfriend from sophomore/junior year, he was my first love, he broke my heart. It took me a long time to get over everything that happened with him because it all happened at the same time Michael died. I’m so over all that now, but a part of me will always love him, because that’s just the way it is with your first love….Anyways, Hurricane Ivan hit where he lives today, and I’ve just been worried, because he is the kind of idiot that would try to go surfing during a hurricane or something. After we broke up, he got really into drugs, and I know one day I’m going to get a call and hes going to be dead. Like I know that in my heart and it makes me sad because there is nothing I can do about it. God knows I tried to “save” him, but you cant save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. That’s off the subject though. Needless to say, I’ve just been worried. I prefer to keep that part of my life in a very dark corner in the back of my mind, because it was pretty much the worst time of my life and I worked really hard to NOT think about it every day, and I don’t like any kind of reminders. I do hope he’s ok though. We’ll leave it at that. I’m so depressed lately. My life is like a repeat performance….I managed to get all my classes online, so all I do is sleep all day, go out at night with Skye when she doesn’t have sorority stuff, maybe drink some, stumble back home at 3 or 4, pass out, and do the same thing again the next day. It gets old. I WISH I was at ASU, I want to have homework (I cant believe I’m saying that) and papers to write and classes to go to, because this SCC shit is like Kindergarten. I can do it in my sleep. I don’t like things that aren’t a challenge. I think what I probably should do is work full time or something. Its just that my body is so out of whack, I’m totally nocturnal now, I don’t wake up til 5 PM…..I woke up at 1 today and I couldn’t even stay awake so I went back to sleep. I guess I need to gradually start waking up earlier. Another thing is living by myself. I like it, I really do, but it gets really boring and lonely sometimes. I am such a people person, and I like having people to talk to all the time. But really the only person I would want to live with would be Skye, and I thought she was probably going to live with me next year, but now she is talking about living at Adelphi. I hope she doesn’t. If we lived together it would be so much fun. Kylie still wants me to transfer to UT, and part of me wants to, but I don’t want to leave everyone here. I wish she would come out here instead. If it wasn’t for that stupid mormon she would be here. Last night I went over to Chris’s dorm at 2 AM and we hung out with Carly and Sarah for awhile, and were dancing and woke up the neighbors. It was fun, and we weren’t even drunk! They are the only people I will dance with when I haven’t been drinking. Shake it like a salt shaker!! I could tell we were pissing off Billy but I didn’t really care, he has gotten weird and annoying. I thought he was really cool at first, but seriously all the kid talks about is cars. Nonstop, 24/7. Like he cant have a normal conversation, it has to be about cars. Weird. I’m going home the first weekend in October….I cant wait!! Its homecoming, so Kylie and I are going to help Spen and Timmy get ready. I cant believe my baby sister is going to homecoming! Shes going with a football player too….that kind of concerns me. Lets just say I’ve done that scene and its not one I want her to do! I’m going to see if Pajo will come home that weekend so we can all hang out at Jakes. I miss hanging out at his house. For some reason, night after night, it never got old. They are just people you can talk to for hours and never run out of things to say. Jake and Pajo remind me a lot of Andy and Rob. Except Andy and Rob are smarter. Jake is really smart when he applies himself, but….hes a democrat. I respect his opinions though, and we always have really good arguments. I miss that. Anyways, I’m going to try to go to sleep now…..love you all!

Mest

Return To Self Loathing

sick of the way i am feeling.
waking up watching myself slipping.
should i just take out my eyes?
no longer want them for this life.
acting strong only on the outside.
hiding shame and pain on the inside.
i've tried to block my mind of this, and pretend is doesn't exist.

losing my mind once again.
stranding my thoughts (no matter what i said).

sleepless nights staring at the ceiling.
sanity running on empty.
try to block my mind of this, and pretend it doesn't exist.

losing my mind once again.
stranding my thoughts (no matter what i said).
taken for granted again.
stranding my thoughts (no matter what i said).

losing my mind again.
stranded my thoughts (no matter what i said).
losing my mind once again.
stranding my thoughts no matter what was said.

losing my mind,
stranding my thoughts no matter what was said

1. Be born into the right family. Choose your chromosomes wisely.


2. Have a great name. Unless you are british. All british people have boring names, like Diana, and that worked fine for Princess Di.


3. Have absolutely flawless skin and wear tons of makeup. Don’t ever breakout (ew), but if you do, just call your makeup artist.


4. Eat only fast food or fabulous food, such as cotton candy and caviar.


5. Develop a way of entering a room that looks royal and regal but NOT snobby.


6. Never, EVER wake up before ten; never go to sleep before three. Normal hours are for normal people. You never want to be normal. Anyone can be normal. How boring. I’m yawning.


7. Always tell everyone what they want to hear. Then do what you want. That way, no one ever gets mad at you. They get very confused, then blame it on themselves. If anyone ever confronts you, smile sweetly and act coyly. Particularly with guys. And bosses. Try not to have bosses if you can avoid them. Or have your manager deal with them.


8. Never have only one cell phone when you can have many. Lose one all the time. That way, if you haven’t called someone back, you can blame it on the lost phone.


9. Never wear the same thing twice. If you do this, people will only think you have only one outfit. And that’s gross. And untrue.


10. Don’t wear a dress that’s in all the magazines. That’s for girls with no style who just buy what magazines tell them to buy.


11. If you’re happy, wear pink. If you’re depressed, wear black. And if you really want to stand out and be confident, wear white.


12. Make plans, plans, and more plans. Invite everyone you know.


13. Act ditzy. Lose things. It throws people off and makes them think you’re “adorable” and less together than you actually are.


14. If all else fails, act bored. Not boring. There’s a huge difference.


15. Public displays of affection are ok, in limited amounts, but only with your serious boyfriend, because that is exactly what a famous person shouldn’t do. It makes other boys think you’re dangerous, so they will want you too. Guys like women they are a little afraid of. No, make that a lot afraid of.


16. Always have a very big bodyguard. It intimidates guys.


17. Always have a tan. It looks like you’ve been in an exotic (i.e., expensive) place.


18. Change your hairstyle all the time. Tell everyone you’re wearing hair extensions, even if you aren’t, because they don’t expect you to tell them.


19. Never drink diet soda. That’s for fat people.


20. Fear nothing – except for insects, snakes, and sweaty guys who insist on kissing you when they come up to say hello.


21. Never be predictable. Always surprise people. That way, they will never get tired of you.


22. Last but not least, make fun of yourself. Never take yourself too seriously.