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| HaPpY HaLLoWeEn! |
| 10.31.04 (1:26 am) [edit] |
Haven't written in a few days.....
Thursday night the boys got a keg and we played some beer bong. It was fun except for the fact that my digital camera is somehow MIA. I left it at Rob and Drew's and it wasn't there the next morning so I'm really pissed about that!! So if anyone finds it i'll give you $20! I ended up sleeping at Andy's....neither of us could fall asleep so we stayed up talking for awhile then slept on the sofa bed. Friday was bad! I had to work from 8-1, and I went to see Audrey when I was done and they were like "Audrey didn't show up for work today"....I went over to Drew's and she was still there!! She and Drew were already drunk (at 2 pm) bc they woke up and hit the keg!! We went to In n Out...yummm...then took Andy to work. Drew, Liz, and I all dyed our hair. Mine was supossed to be dark red like Lohan's but its almost black! Everyone says it looks good but i'm not so sure. My mom is going to have a heart attack when she sees it! The bad part of the evening: I wanted to get really drunk for some reason (but not as drunk as I ended up getting!!) so I had a few beers then Rob was like hey, lets drink some wine. I've never had more than one glass of wine at a time so I didn't know what to expect and didn't really know my limit. I got WASTED and apparently passed out in Andy's bathroom for 2 hours and threw up ALL over the place. I don't remember this. I slept on the couch and woke up at like 12 and was walking to my car and Rob banged on the window so I went in and talked to him and audrey for a few minutes....then Guill came over and I asked him if I threw up last night and he was like uhhhh YEAH. I am so gross!!!! I came home and took a nap then picked up Skye at the airport. We drove all over Phoenix looking for go go boots for my costume. All of them were either 10 feet tall or $100 and I wasn't spending that for something I was only going to wear once so I ended up just wearing my sparkly ballerina shoes. Skye was a naughty nurse, she looked so hot!! We got over to Andy's and I cleaned his bathroom....I feel so bad I didn't do it this morning but I didn't know I did it! So embarassing. His mom is coming tomorrow so we helped him clean up a little bit. He dressed up as Lego Man so I got to put eyeshadow on him hahaha....Drew and Rob didn't go out bc Drew didn't feel good and ASU is dicking Rob over for his website so he was trying to figure things out I guess. Guill, Andy, Skye, Audrey, Jen, and I went over to Jeremy's house.....they have a badass kegerator, i want it!! I didn't drink anything bc I'm still hungover from yesterday.....Andy looked hilarious playing beer pong in his costume. I'll put pictures up when I get them developed (If I had my camera I could do it now :evil: )....I had to get a disposable camera. Well I'm really tired so i'm going to pass out.....HAPPY HALLOWEEN :D
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| i LOVE this song!!! |
| 10.29.04 (2:57 am) [edit] |
i'm completely obsessed with this song.....go to www.purevolume.com/thestartingline and download it!!
[b]The Starting Line[/b]
[i]Bedroom Talk[/i]
I got the talk when I was younger
And understood as I recall,
they hadn't mentioned this at all.
My heart was racing like a sprinter
That tripped and fell
In love with a girl just for tonight and that's all
I've got big, big plans
And they've got to mean something more
than just once
I just don't know what I want
I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married
And you're all mine now
Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives
Or maybe for just tonight
I got the call when I was older
Yeah and I understood
If it happens then it happens and that's all
My arms the hose and you're the fire
Out of control and I've got put you out
Before there's nothing left at all
I've got big, big plans
And they've got to mean something more than just once
I just don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
I just don't know what I want
I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married
And you're all mine now
Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives
Or maybe for just mine
So get your ass up cause you're in no hurry
like I am now
I'm getting older and older all of the time
or maybe for just tonight
And the next part is the hardest
So admit and explain but I've got to get it right
She said
"I'll chew you up and spit you out like all them.
I'm gonna put you right back in my mouth
You're gonna stay like that for now"
I will always love you
I said I tore your ass up like we just got married
And you're all mine now
Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives
Or maybe its just:
You've gotta get your ass up cause
you're in no hurry
Like I am now
Im getting older and older all of the time
Let's go one more time
I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married
And you're all mine now
Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives
Or maybe it's just mine
Over tonight
Yeah yeah yeah
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| DAMN Lohan is hot! |
| 10.26.04 (11:00 pm) [edit] |
Owww I have a migraine. But thats because I haven't taken my medicine for 2 days and when I don't take it I get a bitch of a headache. So thats my own fault but it HURTS! I had to work from 8-3 today....it kind of sucked bc it was really slow today. I hate waking up early but I like the 8-3 shift because I can go out at night and i'm done around the time everyone is getting out of class. This weekend is going to be 4 straight days of drinking..... im stoked! Beer pong on Thursday, Jen is having a party friday, Andy is having a halloween party saturday, then there is a simpsons premiere/halloween party sunday. I don't want to wear my costume two days in a row though so i'll probably only dress up on saturday. I don't know how, but for some reason I don't have to work this weekend.....just during the day on thursday and friday. I went over to Drew and Robs to watch the baseball game with Drew and we got some coors light....then we watched One Tree Hill, Real World, and Laguna Beach (Kristin is SUCH A SLUT I want Stephen to be with LC because her intentions are right!!) I get way too upset by reality TV. I'm taking Skye to the airport at 6:30 this morning. She has to go to Alabama because her grandma died :cry: I feel sorry for her and I totally know how she feels because my grandpa died this summer and it was really hard. She is coming back Saturday afternoon so she will be able to go to Andy's party if she feels up to it. I hate that I can't say or do anything to make her feel better. I wish I could cheer her up! But all you can do is be there for someone in that situation. Tomorrow will be fun....Drew and I are having a hair dyeing party!! He is going to dye his hair black, well actually really dark brown, and i'm going to do mine like Lohan's....like a really dark red/chestnut color. It's gonna look hot. I thought my Mom bought me a ticket for the same flight Skye is on to go home for Thanksgiving but it turns out she forgot and now that flight is full and its going to cost like $500 for me to go home. So I don't know if I'm even going home. I guess I could stay here and work because I would probably make bank the day after Thanksgiving bc it is the biggest shopping day of the year! Well my head is like throbbing so i'm going to try to sleep......PEACE
p.s. - Kylie, did you watch LAGOONA beach?? haha what a dumb slut
...my favorite finch song EVER
[b]Finch[/b]
[i]Waiting[/i]
Today is just like all the others
I'm not alright i've cried my last tears
I'm bleeding out my pain as you scream at me
You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees
Another page of i'm sorry's addressed to me
Another story for the collection of memories folded neatly
You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees
And I will never make the same mistake...
And I will never make the same mistake...
Cause I will never make the same mistake...
Cause I will never make the same mistake...
You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees
[image]taylorfabulous_575 932356.jpg[/image]
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| archstone is nasty! |
| 10.23.04 (6:55 pm) [edit] |
Skye and Liz are moving out of Archstone because it is freaking disgusting. Their neighbors upstairs play their music 24/7 and always have loud parties, but that is to be expected. What is disgusting is when people pee, puke, spit, ash, throw beer bottles/cans, and pour beer off of their balconies so it gets on thei patio. That is just rude. Learn some manners!! That is really inconsiderate. So Skye's parents are here for the weekend so they are going to find a new place. I want Skye to move in with me, but that would leave Liz with nowhere to live.....so shes going to try to find a 3 bedroom. If they find someplace nice hopefully they would let me live with them but I doubt it since they bought this condo. Plus I don't think I could deal with Liz's cats, and I like where I live. And their furniture is very Pottery Barn, and mine is more contemporary. But I still want to live with them bc I don't really like living by myself. Too bad my house isn't 3 bedrooms!! Anyways....Skye and her parents came over to look at my place and it was really embarassing bc I had just woken up and my house is sooooo messy right now. We're going to Mortons tonight then we will probably watch the end of the ASU game somewhere. I miss Drew!! Andy is working til 11 and I don't know what Rob is doing so I think i'll call Jen and see where she's watching the game. I guess I could have people over but that would mean I have to clean up. Well I have to go take a shower.....
[i]Today we salute you, Mr. Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold, back of the neck. Sure, your Pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not to the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar. Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel.You preach of a world where its okay for a man to go tanning. You ask "why can't we use shampoo with lavender essence?" So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one... in your man purse[/i] - Thank you Jake Kemp!
p.s.-The Pink shirt is DAMN hot on certain people!!
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| <3 Mischa |
| 10.22.04 (5:08 am) [edit] |
Andy and I went to see Team America tonight....it was soooo funny but really messed up!! My favorite part is when they called Michael Moore a "socialist fucking pig" and he blew himself up. If only that would really happen!! I have to take Drew to the airport in 2 hours so i'm just not going to sleep tonight! I ordered this really cute halloween costume....i'm going to be a go go dancer! The dress looks like Pucci, its so cute! I can't wait for Halloween... I'm going to drink ALOT. I'm going to miss Drew this weekend!! I hope he has alot of fun at home.....just remember what everyone said: Ex girlfriends are bad news!! But do what (or who) you've gotta do! Kylie and I always talk about how if we were ever famous who we would dress like.....she would probably dress like Ashlee and I would dress like Jessica or Lohan....but my top choice would be Mischa Barton. I LOVE HER....she always looks really classy. She's just way too skinny but other than that shes gorgeous. I can't wait for the OC....I'm having a party Nov 4th for the premiere!! The guys said they will only come if they get really drunk first....but they know they like it! Everyone used to watch it in my room last year! Skye's parents are in town and they brought me this beautiful necklace and wrap thingy from Israel....and we're going to Morton's on Saturday! Yum! I love Mortons almost as much as I love the Cheesecake Factory! Tonight before the movies, Drew, Audrey, Jen, Andy, Skye and I went to Chilis but it was closed...it was only 8:00! It was raining and cold today so I guess they figured they could close early? We went to Ruby Tuesday instead but it wasn't nearly as good. I had this pasta that was pretty gross. I'm kind of tired all of a sudden but I need to stay awake....i'm gonna go watch a movie....night ya'll!
[image]taylorfabulous_847 862123.jpg[/image]
My Fashion Icon!
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| i can't sleep!!! |
| 10.21.04 (9:58 am) [edit] |
I HATE INSOMNIA....I am so tired but I've been tossing and turning all night. I think i'm getting sick because my throat really hurts.....and I don't have any good cold medicine :oops: I drank enough last night to have had a VERY peaceful night sleep, but it didn't work out that way!! I worked yesterday in these evil pointy high heels so my feet hurt too.....but they are just way too cute not to wear. Beauty is pain! Enough of my bitching. After work I picked up a 30 pack of Bud Light (so classy at 5 pm) and went over to Drew's to watch the Sox game.....that was an awesome game! I am so excited for Drew that the Sox are going to the world series.....he was so happy and calling everyone he knew at home after they won. I'm stoked they beat the Yankees, but if the Astros make it to the World Series, i'll have to route for the home team.....sorry Drew! Skye, Andy, Suzy, Amy, Wetzel, and Guill came over too so it was fun. But what was even funner was the beer bongs that followed!! I think Amy and I each did 6??? I don't know but I went from zero to drunk very quickly. Don't you love when that happens? Everyone left, I have no idea how they drove, and even though they were just going around the corner they shouldn't have. But people never listen. I knew there was no way I was driving so I stayed and watched Family guy with Drew, Andy, and Rob. It was the spring break episode....so funny. Andy and Guill got Halo 2 early so their lives are officially over. I went over to Andy's for a little bit and tried to sober up while they played Halo. I just really do not understand that game!! I wanted to go to sleep so bad, but every time I closed my eyes I got the spins. I hate the spins! I left around 1:30 because Andy still had webwork to do. Poor kid, he hasn't slept in like 2 days. Well actually thats his own fault for staying up all night playing xbox. Silly boys. I think i'm going to see Team America tonight......Jake said it was really funny, but Drew and Suzy said it was only OK. Which is surprising bc they were high when they went to see it so you would think it would be hilarious. Anyways.....I'm going to try to go back to sleep since its really early!
[b]New Found Glory[/b]
[i]I'd Kill To Fall Asleep[/i]
Eyes open, I'm wide awake
I feel I'm in a coma state
I'll lay here on my back and watch the fan turn
Conversations cross my mind, but nothing of the speaking kind
TV images repeat there one lines
Back and forth I toss and turn
It feels like strings are holding up my eyes
I'd kill to fall asleep
I'd kill to fall asleep
Putting up a losing fight
I'll never see this end tonight
The thought of just one dream it consumes me
Numbers on the clock turn back, my pills are having no affect
The beating of my heart keeps the time going
Back and forth I toss and turn
It feels like strings are holding up my eyes
I'd kill to fall asleep
I'd kill to fall asleep
They say that when you sleep your body's at rest
I wouldn't know what sleep felt like if I tried my best
Polaroids and memories can fade away, so can I...
Back and forth I toss and turn
It feels like strings are holding up my eyes
I'd kill to fall asleep
I'd kill to fall asleep
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| the way we were |
| 10.19.04 (3:13 am) [edit] |
I was talking to Kacy tonight about how things used to be.....say around sophomore year or so. I just wonder what things would be like if things would've happened differently. Kacy wonders what her life would be like if she didn't have Kaylee. I wonder what mine would be like had the whole disaster of that summer happened. Infinitely different I suppose. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Michael, and I don't know if it ever will. How do you just "recover" from something like that? I can bury it in the back of my mind, pretend i'm over it, but i'm not, and I don't know if I ever will be. I was, and still am, so messed up from everything that happened. Michael dying was the catalyst of me getting away from all of that, and it makes me sick that I didn't open my eyes before. I can justify it any way I want, but Adam pretty much raped me on multiple occasions, and that screwed me up alot. My relationship with Marc makes it really hard for me to trust people to this day. He was my first love, and the impact of your first love stays with you for a really long time. He screwed me over sooooo bad but I was still in love with him for a long time after that. Why? I think because I felt like I didn't deserve any better. I was so insecure, so humiliated, I still get that way. I feel like i'm not good enough and I don't deserve someone. I didn't let myself like anyone for almost 2 years, until the summer in between senior year and college....Jake. And now there's someone else I really care about, but I feel like i'm not good enough for him. Will I always feel like that? Less than mediocre? I just wish all of that had never happened. I think my heart is whole again, but I don't know about my mind. I make excuses. I disgust myself. I look in the mirror sometimes and want to throw up. I have nightmares at least once a week about the accident. And the weird thing is that I miss that time in my life sometimes. Things were so much simpler. I had no responsibility at all.....I know things were sooooo screwed up then, but like Kacy said.....I wonder what it would be like to go back just for a few hours. Would I still act the same way and make the same decisions? All the things that have happened made me who I am today, but sometimes I really don't like that person. Last year I really messed up and i'm working hard to get things better. My mom wants me to go see a counselor because I still have alot of guilt issues about Michael. I know it was an accident but I can't not blame myself. Sometimes I wish I could just re-do high school. There are so many things I would have done differently. But I know you can't go back. I am really hard on my sister right now because I don't want her to have to deal with what I did. I've gone through more than alot of people go through in their whole life. I just wonder.....where would I be? How would I be? I am so greatful I have the people in my life I do now because I really don't think i would be anywhere without them. This all really gives me something to think about.....
[b]Eve 6[/b]
[i]Here's To The Night[/i]
So denied
So I lied
Are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had
Are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay
Not to go
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
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| sofa city, sweetheart! |
| 10.18.04 (4:33 am) [edit] |
I woke up really early...i'm talking 10 am...to take Andy to work and go with Rob and Drew to get their couch today. Skye was going to go with me, because she has a SUV, but she was still sleeping so she just gave me her keys. I love driving her car....its soooo nice. It has the lexus navigation system touch screen and even has a camera that shows behind you when you back up! Its super cool. I got over to Rob's around 10:30 and passed out on Drew's bed (which is really comfortable)...Rob took Andy to work and then we drove to Glendale, which is about 30 mins away, to pick up the couch. On the way there off of the 101 there was a Tilly's!! I thought they only had Tilly's in Cali......I wanted to make them stop but I figured the boys wouldn't be up for a shopping trip. We got the couch and managed to fit it into Skye's car and Andy's brothers truck somehow...its a huge sectional. So thats the new hang out.....its weird watching TV there, normally we have to go to Andy's or we all lay on Drew's bed. Drew and I went to Subway for lunch and ran into Suzy so we ate with her. I went home and took a nap and came back over to Drew and Rob's to watch the baseball game. We were going to rent the Day After Tomorrow but somehow never got around to it. I ordered pizza from Papa Johns and went to pick it up but their suncard machine was broken and I didn't have any other money so I couldn't get it....I was pissed!! So I ended up making the boys spaghetti which was better. Andy and I ended up getting Hungry Howie's at like 12:30....they have this awesome cinnamon bread. Poor Skye was freaking out bc Chris came over to her apartment and wouldn't leave....he needs to understand that she is PISSED and needs a few days to cool off. There's all this drama now....I HATE drama. Unless I cause it. Jk. I think he got the hint bc there was a little phone conversation. I'm getting my "allowance" tomorrow so I'm making steak for everyone. Well, i'm making mashed potatoes and I'll make one of the boys grill it. Grilling is just a male art for some reason. So overall nothing too exciting today, but i'm tired, so PeAcE
[b]Ryan Cabrera[/b]
[i]40 Kinds Of Sadness[/i]
Two days chasing me around
I go crazy when you're outside of my world
When you're outside of my world
No sounds singing me to sleep
I don't want the room to breathe
Just be with me...
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough
My eyes are waiting at the door
Just like every time before
Time flies so slow...
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough
It's not enough, I don't know why
It's not enough, I miss you all the time
And I know you kind of like it
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough
[image]taylorfabulous_415 103989.jpg[/image]
Skye and I after getting our makeup done at MAC....i look like a total prostitute!!
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| shady behavior.... |
| 10.17.04 (5:53 am) [edit] |
Tonight was Skye's Gamma Phi formal. She bought this absolutely beautiful dress at BCBG....like i want to get married in it, its gorgeous. Since she is a new member, they had to wear white dresses so everyone looked like they were getting married. I picked her up to take her to Adelphi and we picked up Chris and Brian, both of whom were already wasted. Keep in mind its 6:00. Skye could've taken Drew or David or whoever, but she took Chris because Chris wanted to go and he is her best friend. I was really, really pissed off at him tonight because he made her cry and totally ruined her night. She asked him for this one night, please don't drink, because the formal was at a nice hotel and she didn't want him to be loud and acting all drunk. When he gets drunk he gets VERY loud and he doesn't even realize it. Well apparently he was yelling at her before they got on the bus, and he called her a bitch in front of everyone. That is not cool. Skye called me crying and I felt so bad for her....it was supossed to be her special night and it was ruined. Drew and I went and picked her and Chris up at the hotel, and Chris was completely oblivious. He was like "why are we leaving" "why are you mad at me"....like he didn't even realize how much he ruined her night. I was going to go off on him in the car, but I didn't. It kind of isn't any of my business, but Skye is one of my best friends, and when you fuck with my friends, you fuck with me. Chris is one of my good friends too, but his drinking is starting to really bother me. I know when you're a freshman the cool thing to do is get wasted all the time, but it gets old. Chris, I know you will read this, and I'm not trying to be a bitch, but you need to get your shit together. I don't want you to end up failing out of school. Look at me! I'm only saying this because I care about you. It seems like you can't have fun anymore without being drunk, and thats really sad. Anyways.....Drew, Skye, and I went back to Drews and made margaritas with Rob and Andy. We all just hung out talking til 2 on the back porch. Rob and Drew are getting a couch tomorrow, so Skye and I are going to help them move it tomorrow. Which means I have to get up in.....7 hours. We're going to take Andy to work before we go do all that....he has to work all day. He has been working alot lately. He seems to like his job though so thats cool. Well, i'm going to sleep so goodnight everyone!
[b]Taking Back Sunday[/b]
[i]There's No "I" In Team[/i]
Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means
And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you're up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable...ohoh
Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means
You never knew
well i never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse...
(that's right he said, that's right he said it)
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that's right he said)
that you always had it way too easy
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
[image]taylorfabulous_123 3992975.jpg[/image]
Skye, looking gorgeous despite her crappy night!!
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| Thirsty Thursday...... |
| 10.15.04 (5:40 pm) [edit] |
I love Fridays.....I can sleep til 3 and just lay around til I go out that night, its the greatest! Last night Carroll played on ESPN b/c they are ranked number one in the nation against Denton Ryan. They won, of course, but it made me really homesick because it was played at Dragon Stadium. I can't believe its almost been 2 years since i've been in high school and I was at those games!! Anyways.....Skye and I got Sushi to go and watched most of the game at Drew's house. We played King's Cup (again) and got a little drunk. Andy came over after he was done with his homework, and so did Suze and Amy. Suzy brought some vodka, so I drank some of that......she, skye, and drew were sitting on the porch smoking cigarettes and Andy, Guill, and I stayed inside and were talking about Santa....random. Skye was going to have Liz come and pick us up, but she didn't want to leave yet and I was sooo tired and didn't want to leave my car there, so I slept at Andy's until 4:30 and I was sobered up and drove home. Sooooo I just woke up and i'm bored.....I think i'm going to go lay by the pool! Later!
....how true is this???
ODE TO COLLEGIATE ALCOHOLISM
College students are truly a rare breed. Week after week we put ourselves through the gauntlet of flip-cup tournaments, keg stands, ice luges, and power hours only to pass out briefly and wake up at obscene hours of the morning to re-fuel our still-intoxicated bodies with a few more beers all in the name of tailgate. We also lack any legitimate sense of time. We "pre-drink" until eleven. 12:40 classes are "early." We know 1:30 a.m. as "last call" because we have been going to the bars since we were 17 with fake I.D.s. There is a day of the week referred to as "Boozeday."
We college kids undoubtedly have a subculture unto ourselves. Some people play basketball, we play beer pong. Some people wait all year for Christmas or Thanksgiving, we wait all year for St. Patty’s Day, New Years Eve, and Superbowl Sunday. Some drink orange juice for breakfast, we throw back a Busch Light because we hear its a good cure for that hangover. We can turn anything into a drinking game.
We live in our own world, a world where jungle juice seems like a good idea, being awake at 4 a.m. is normal, “wanna do a body shot” is a sufficient pick-up line, and 21st birthdays are an entity unto themselves. We have become aware that alchohol makes us say, do, and wear things that would, in a sober state, be out of the question. Watching our friend make out with a stranger in front of cheering spectators is raw comedy, kegerators become the greatest invention the world has ever seen, and we "discover" things that seem utterly amazing…like malt liquor...and Beerios...
We nickname beers. If we're at the bar and we ask for a "Beast" or a "Natty," the bartender knows what we're talking about because he's probably in college too. We have drunken alter-egos and we name them. A few sots down the hatch and we suddenly turn into "Rico Suave" the tequila-chugging wonder...We are experts at Kings, never running out of tricky categories or a clever rule. We draw on the faces of passed out friends, we know that empty fifths make great decorations in our apartments (also note: empty kegs can be sweet coffee tables), and we have done a "shotski".
We make friends while we are drunk and we assign them an adjective that will forever precede their name in order to distinguish them from the rest of the "friends" we make while drunk (also because we do not know their last names.) "Sloppy Tom" and "Creepy Steve" will always be near and dear to our hearts.
We have no money because we spent it all on beer. This, unfortunately, is also why we drink Povov and Crazy Horse, and trust us, that takes heart. It grows on us after awhile...or after we've taken too many shots to remember that what we're drinking tastes like gasoline. The lack of money situation is also why if we see someone sipping a Corona, they are a baller, and we will make friends with them.
After a long night of bonging beers at a house party, bravely resisting the urge to drunk dial (and/or drunk IM) all of our ex-boyfriends, then going shot-for-shot with a frat boy at the bar, we wake up hugging an empty box of wine in our underwear on our best friend's kitchen floor with a million questions running through our pounding heads. We wake up with random incoherent numbers in our cell phones ("Who the hell is 'grEenshirtb4oy'?"), random pictures on our cameras ("Look, here’s one of so-and-so humping that Corona guy on the dance floor..."), a mere 73 cents left in our wallets ("I didn't know Hold 'em was a drinking game?"), and a desperate desire to lay in bed for the rest of our lives...it is then that we swear off drinking forever...for real....we really mean it this time....
Yet, after shotgunning a brewski or two and kickin back with a 40, we head to the shower, beer in hand, and get ready to begin our evening once again. It takes balls, simply put. We know how to party. We have honed and perfected our art. We are lushes, bar stars, and boozehounds.
Why do we act this way you ask? Because we can. Because in 4 short, blurry years we will have to enter the “real world”. So for the time being we will live it up…As long as there are beers to be drank and shots to be taken, we will be there...as long as there are case races to be won and frat houses to pass out in, we will be there...as long as there are tables to be danced on and annoying eighties songs to sing loudly along to, WE WILL BE THERE!...but we're not gonna lie, we probably won't remember it.
[image]taylorfabulous_120 8103281.jpg[/image]
speaking of drunkeness.....
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| Bush Rocks ASU!! |
| 10.14.04 (5:02 am) [edit] |
It was a really awesome to have the debate be at ASU.....that's like a once in a lifetime experience. I am really proud that people my age have gotten so involved in this election and really care about what's going on. Skye, Chris, and I went and rallied for Bush at the MU today during the taping of Hardball with Chris Matthews on MSNBC. It seemed to me that all of the Kerry supporters had nothing better to say except "Bush Is An Idiot". If you are going to be anti-Bush, at least have concrete reasons why you don't like him. I don't agree with everything Bush has done, but I think overall he has been a great President. I respect him because he has brought God back into the white house. I'm not a hard core christian, but I think thats cool that the President prays before he makes a major decision. I'm going to write a long entry tomorrow on why I specifically support Bush. I do think he won the debate tonight, regardless of what others say. He didn't do very well in the first debate, and he really came back in the second debate and tonight. I was getting really frustrated that John Kerry never really directly answered the questions he was asked without saying a bunch of bullshit or blaming President Bush for something, then giving a half assed answer. It also troubles me that he thinks education has nothing to do with the economy. But I'll get into that tomorrow. ANYWAYS.....Chris and I left the MU before Hardball actually aired because it was really hot and I wasn't feeling that good, but Skye stayed and was on TV like 10 times!! I was so proud! Chris and I got filmed for the news bc we were wearing ASU Bush Supporter tshirts. After the debate, I cooked Skye and Chris dinner....it was soooo good. I made some of my Mom's special pasta and texas toast. Then I went over to Rob and Drew's and we played King's Cup for awhile....fun stuff. I didn't get that drunk though. If I get drunk over there I always sleep at Andy's..... which I will most likely be doing tomorrow bc we're having a beer pong tournament and I always get my ass kicked in beer pong. Well i'm gonna go to sleep, but VIVA BUSH!!!!
[image]taylorfabulous_824 042831.jpg[/image]
Not to mention.....The Bush Twins are so much hotter!! Plus I know them and they're cool girls!!
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| really bad day |
| 10.11.04 (11:16 pm) [edit] |
Well today my world came crashing down.....
I got about 10 calls from my Dad within 15 minutes so I knew I was in trouble for something. I called him back, and it turns out he found out that I have this credit card and the statement was sent to my house and its maxed out right now, which I knew. I am 19, I should be able to have my own credit card, but this is the thing: I am HORRIBLE with money. My parents have had to bail me out on more than one occaison because I just buy stuff impulsively and rack up my credit card. Then I will get the bill and I won't have money to pay it, so I just kind of put it in the back of my mind and forget about it. I know that is really bad, and really immature, and I shouldn't have a credit card at all. It just seems like such a good idea at the time......and so after my parents bailed me out the last time they absolutely forbid me to have any credit cards, but I kept one of them. So while we were fighting, I decided since I was already in trouble I should tell them about the school situation because I just can't handle lying to them anymore....I hate it, and I feel disgusted with myself when I lie to them. So I'm in alot of trouble. My Dad wants me to come come next semester and go to UTA or something and live at home....hopefully my mom can calm him down because I don't want to leave! I know I deserve it, but I love my friends here and I love Arizona and I don't want to go home......if I transferred anywhere it would be to UT, but I could not deal with living at home again. This summer I almost went insane living at home......I know my dad and I would fight all the time and it would just suck. I am just so mad at myself I did so bad in school last year. I was supossed to go to Starting Line tonight, but I was kind of hysterical so I didn't feel like going.... plus Skye had a sorority meeting, Andy ended up having to work, and Rob had a bunch of stuff to do....so it just didn't work out. Hopefully we can all go see Taking Back Sunday next week. Ugh, I can't even stand the thought of leaving everyone.....its too depressing. I really don't think it will come down to that. My parents are going to Costa Rica tomorrow, so they will have a chance to calm down. I always get really scared whenever they go out of town and think their plane is going to crash....so tomorrow I will be freaking out until they call me and tell me they got there. Even though I'm in alot of trouble, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest....I can breathe again. I hate lying to my parents, especially my Mom. I love my Mom more than anyone or anything in the world....I couldn't live without her. Another thing, my aunt Jen is in the hospital with Menengitis and is really sick, so i'm worried about her. Well I'm gonna go be depressed now......
[b]Atreyu[/b]
[i]A Song For The Optimists[/i]
Blow the last candle out
Let the wax harden
I wish I could stop crying
And I wish that someone still loved me
Just breathe and focus
How can I when the air is so cold and empty
That my lungs froze right in my chest.
I'll be honest the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture
And the smiles are so difficult to fake
What do I have to do, or who do I have to kill,
to get what I want, what I need
Happiness is an emotion I was born to this world without,
nothing pleases me
And i can never be satiated.
Through this toil I will breed my own distress
and destroy my best hopes
fuck up the only things that I love.
I watched my aspirations crashing to the ground,
on the backs of the angels that I've slain
But I meant so well, I tried so hard, gave everyting in my soul
to what end, to what end
Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away
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| HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKYE!! |
| 10.11.04 (4:13 am) [edit] |
Today was Skye's birthday...she's 20! That seems so old....last night I had a party for her at my house. A lot of people ended up coming which was cool. We got a keg, which is a story in itself.... the place where I normally buy alcohol almost took away my ID last week so I didn't want to go there, and so we went to this other place. The guy was asking me all these questions and made me sign this paper saying I could be arrested and stuff...then he compared my signature to the one on the ID...thankfully my cousin and I have similar handwriting! I didn't think he was going to sell it to me, but he did. He helped me put it in Chris's car and when we were pulling out to leave, he came running back out yelling at us, but I couldn't hear what he was saying so I was just like LEAVE GET OUT OF HERE....it was really scary. I hope he didn't get Chris's license plate. I was soooo scared I was going to get arrested. My Dad told me if I ever do he will leave me in jail for a week. I would be more scared of telling my Dad that I got arrested than actually going to jail. Anyways.....we brought the keg back to my house, and all these random people were there. Andy, Rob, and Guill didn't get there until later bc Andy had to work so for awhile I didn't even know most of the people there. I was kind of drunk for a little bit bc Skye and I did keg stands, and I was just carrying around a bottle of vodka and drinking it, but I ended up not getting that drunk. It got pretty loud and I was worried the cops were going to be called, but everything was cool. I ended up just sitting on the balcony with Skye, Andy, Drew, Rob, Guill, Jen, and Audrey talking....I would so much rather do that then go to a party. Thats why I love my friends....we can just hang out and chill and talk. I mean the party was fun and all, but Skye's sorority sisters and a bunch of guys from Chris's frat came so I didn't even know them! Anyways.....Skye was really drunk and she and Neko were doing karaoke.....Hotel California will never be the same. I used to love that song too!! Everyone left around 4 I think....I went to sleep before that though. I was in the worst mood before the party....Texas lost to OU (i hate the sooners dammit) and I was just having a bad day....but then Skye and I went to get our makeup done at MAC and we looked hot....kind of drag queenish but still hot!! But then my makeup got ruined when I did the keg stand bc the guy accidentially got it on my face....eww. We went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner....I love that place. Our waiter was so cool, we invited him to the party. He called me and said he was going to come but he didnt...I was sad!! I didn't wake up til 7 PM today....oops. I wanted to go see Friday Night Lights with Drew but I think he went without me :cry: Oh well....i'll just make him go see it again. I am so excited for tomorrow....Me, Skye, Andy, Rob, and Drew are driving down to Tucson to see Starting Line!! I have to do some homework so I better go....but love you guys!! I'll post pics from last night as soon as I can find the cord for my camera.....
[b]Simple Plan[/b]
[i]Addicted[/i]
I heard you're doing okay
But I want you to know
I'm a dick
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy but you left anyway
I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker
Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
I'm still a dick
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway
How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
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| so true |
| 10.11.04 (1:52 am) [edit] |
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You Are a Dolce & Gabbana Blue Leather Hobo Bag
Whew! This bag is barely big enough to hold your credit cards.
You're a fashionista, who loves buying the latest trends
In fact, as cute as this bag is - it will barely last you a week
Then it's on to the next cute bag you see, at 19% APR!
What Kind of Handbag Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
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| ~HOOK EM HORNS~ |
| 10.09.04 (10:28 am) [edit] |
Wow its sooooo early.....I haven't been up this early in a really long time!! Last night I went with Andy, Rob, and Drew over to Lucy and Jen's house to watch Lucy on Wheel of Fortune. She won $26,900!!! I was still really hungover from the night before so I didn't drink....everyone else was really drunk so it kind of sucked but Rob didn't drink either. I think Andy and Drew each had like 20 beers. Drew had been drinking since 2 so he was trashed. Skye, Neko, Chris, Morgan, and two of Chris's friends came over to Lucy's and Chris was SHITFACED....like embarassingly drunk. I ended up taking him home about 20 mins after he got there because he was just out of control and being really loud. I went back to Andy's and we got to sleep in his room bc Guill was at Snakes....normally we have to sleep on the sofa bed! I woke up at 7 though and I couldn't fall back asleep so I just came home....I didn't want to wake Andy up bc he looked so peaceful. Its good that i'm up early because I have so much to do since tonight is Skye's bday party! I'm going to make her a birthday cake and everything. AND....The Texas/OU game is on in a little bit....my favorite game of the whole year!!!! I am going to cry like a little bitch if Texas loses. Its so weird not going to the game bc I have gone every year since I was 6. Jake has tickets on the 50 yard line....i'm way jealous. When I was little I used to wear a Longhorns cheerleading outfit to the game....it was soooo cute. I wish I could still wear that.....it was my favorite outfit!! Speaking of that, I need to go shopping and find a hot outfit for tonight. I know I have more clothes than anyone I know, but I am so sick of all of them. Skye and I are getting our makeup done at MAC so we are going to look freaking hot. I'm kind of worried my neighbors are going to call the cops tonight, but oh well. I probably should go tell them i'm having a party and to come talk to me if i'm being loud and not call the cops. I hate my neighbors though, they're all assholes. Anyways.....i'm going to go start to clean so later little bitches!!!
[image]taylorfabulous_475 124819.jpg[/image]
i miss my kylie and my little lambchop :cry:
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| sooo wasted |
| 10.08.04 (4:12 pm) [edit] |
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Last night I got REALLY REALLY drunk.....I haven't been that drunk since last year. There was a reason why I stopped getting that drunk.....because when I do I totally embarass myself. Andy and Drew and Guill and I were watching Star Wars and I was just incoherent....good things my friends are cool and (hopefully) just laugh it off. We've all been there......tonight we're all going to see Friday Night Lights. Then everyone can see how its like where I come from! I have the worst hangover right now. Im really disappointed in myself right now bc I drove drunk twice last night. Andy wouldnt take me to Whataburger bc he was doing homework and I just couldnt wait bc I was super hungry so I drove there.....then when everyone was going to sleep I got pissed off for some reason (I dont remember why now!!) and drove home.... Thats not cool, I am so against drunk driving. I promise I wont do it again!! I feel sooooooooo sick......I am so dizzy......and I have so much to do today! I have to clean my whole apartment bc I'm having a party tomorrow...I need to do laundry too. Yuck I hate laundry. This weekend is going to be so fun....Skyes party and then on Monday Skye, Andy, Rob and I are driving to Tucson and going to see Starting Line and Yellowcard...yay!! I love Starting Line live. I left my phone at Andy's so I have to go get it.....I really don't want to get out of bed......
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| To Everyone |
| 10.07.04 (1:52 am) [edit] |
~Write 10 People an Anonymous Message, and Let Them Figure Out Who Its To!~
(One of my friends did this and I'm bored......)
1. I hate fighting with you. I know I screwed up, but I need to be the one to deal with it. And I need you to be my friend, and not judge me. I love you in spite of your faults, unconditionally, and I would hope you do the same. I don't want our friendship to end because of this immature bullshit. And we both have been immature in not saying how we really feel, and letting it all blow up into one big fight.
2. I miss you so much....I barely ever get to talk to you anymore because you have been working alot. I miss how we used to talk every single day last year about everything. You are one of the few people I can tell everything....no matter how bad it may be. I want you to come out here, or I'll try to come there soon.
3. I'm so scared of my feelings for you.....I haven't let myself feel this way in a long time, but I'm afraid to tell you how I feel because I don't know if you feel the same way. If we both let go of the past and just let it happen it would be amazing. I know it would work out....its just getting there thats the problem. I love being around you, I love talking to you, you are such an awesome person....
4. I am so happy you are here this year. I really don't think I could be making it without you. You calm me down when I freak out about stupid things, and you've taught me to just go with the flow instead of overanalyze things. You are such a good friend, you are my best friend here.
5. You were more than my best friend for such a long time....I was closer to you than my actual sister. Your family was like my family, and mine was like yours....I'm so glad we've started talking again on a regular basis, I miss you so much! I just wish we wouldn't have let a certain someone get in the way of our friendship in high school. One thing I can say is that you have been there for me during the hardest times of my life, and you have never let me down. I will never forget that.
6. I am so glad we are friends again. You were one of my very best friends and I still love you. I'm sorry for what you are going through right now, but I know you are strong enough to get through it. I believe in you and I know other people do to. I'm sorry if the whole thing with your brother messed up our friendship....I just wanted to marry him so we could be sisters!! :)
7. It is so stupid that we don't talk anymore. I can't believe we were at the same school last year and we let something so stupid get in the way. I used to talk to you nearly every day and I could tell you anything and you could tell me anything. I always thought we would end up getting married or something, and now we are practically strangers. I hate it. I wish things would go back to the way it used to be.
8. You used to be my entire world. I still have dreams about you at least once a week. You were my first love......nobody has every hurt me as much as you did, but nobody has ever made me feel the way I felt about you either. I don't even know where you are anymore....I just hope you are ok. I still worry about you alot. Even though I really dont want to, a part of me will always love you. You made me who I am today.
9. I think I will always have some sort of infatuation with you. I think you are one of the smartest people I know, and I respect the hell out of you. I don't know if we could ever have a lasting relationship because we are so different. But parts of us are alot alike. I'm glad we are talking more now, because I missed you last year. You and your friends were our entire summer last year....and a big part of mine this year. I miss you.
10. I hate living this lie. I wish I could tell you everything, because I love you more than anyone or anything in the world. I couldn't live without you. If something ever happened to you, I don't think I could go on. You are my very best friend. You love me even though I have screwed up so many times. You have given me everything. I would tell you everything but I don't want to disappoint you. I hate disappointing you more than anything. I miss you so much.
so there you have it....now you 10 lucky people can figure out which ones for you (its not that hard!)
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| Scariest Flight EVER |
| 10.05.04 (2:45 am) [edit] |
For someone that travels so much, I am actually terrified of planes. I know its safer to ride in a plane than a car (i'm proof of that with all my accidents!) but I don't care. I spend the entire takeoff praying to god that we don't crash, and then during the flight every single little jolt makes me grip the armrest with fear. I had the weekend from hell, so I really just wanted to get back to Arizona. The weather was really bad in Texas, so my flight ended up getting delayed. We were supposed to leave at 4:15, and didn't take off til 7. Pain in my ass! I did my usual "please god dont let us crash and die or be bombed by a terrorist" prayer and then fell asleep because I was really tired. I woke up to someone talking -loudly. This old guy is standing up in the middle of the aisle telling everyone he has something to say....so he says "I hope you all have had a good life...." and all this other shit that made no sense (by this point I am hyperventilating thinking hes going to pull out some kind of weapon or the plane is going to blow up).....then he goes to the bathroom and stays in there for like 10 minutes. The girl sitting next to me (she went to ASU too, she was really cool) is freaking out too and takes out her phone in case we have to call and say goodbye to our families or something. Everyone is like ok....wtf?? The guy finally comes out of the bathroom, but then someone else gets up and goes. They come back, and someone else gets up and goes....this continues for an hour and one by one all these people go to the bathroom. One guy just stands at the back of the plane.....I was like oh no he is probably signaling the rest of his cult or something. And they were all acting really weird and suspicious. I think I was freaking out because I read a magazine article where all these people were going to try to blow up a plane and each of them brought one ingredient for the bomb and one by one they would get up and go to the bathroom to build it, but it didn't work or something. So i'm having a panic attack, and the flight was the longest 2 hours of my life, and thankfully we land and everything is ok. I guess he was a crazy old man, but YOU DONT GET ON A PLANE AND ANNOUCE TO EVERYONE "I HOPE YOU HAVE HAD A NICE LIFE"....it makes people think, ok and that life is about to end! It was really scary. That just tops off the worst weekend. I'm glad I got to see my family and all, I just hate fighting with people more than anything. I hate confrontation, and I would rather just be hurt and deal with things than actually say anything, but it comes to a point where it all explodes. It comes to the point where you have to accept the fact that you mean jack shit to someone, even if you consider them your best friend and they are your favorite person in the whole world :cry: Maybe I am being overly dramatic, but thats the way it feels. I'm just glad to be back here.....theres going to be some beer pong tomorrow so thats always fun. Plus I'm going to try to play matchmaker with Drew and Skye's friend Sash. I can't wait for this weekend, Skye's bday party is going to be so much fun. Friday Night Lights is coming out, so i'm going to make everyone go see it so they can see what football is like in Texas. If that movie wasn't based in a hick town, that would BE southlake. And Starting Line is on Monday and I completely forgot about The Used playing on Tuesday....which is awesome bc I am in love with their new CD....if you haven't bought it, GO GET IT....numbers 2 and 5 are the best songs. I'm really, really tired....so I'm going to go to sleep. If I can. I don't think i've gone to sleep before 12 in like 2 years so this will be interesting.
[b]Simple Plan[/b]
[i]Welcome To My Life[/i]
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
But no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
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| *Correction* |
| 10.04.04 (12:46 am) [edit] |
I normally try to allow people to remain anonymous in my blog thing. I was really pissed off last night and I needed to vent, so I just wrote everything. So I deleted those two blogs, because I do agree that its immature to write all of that on here. But sometimes you have to get through to someone the only way you can. I have settled down since last night and I'm not as mad, i'm just really disappointed about the way this weekend turned out. It has really opened my eyes about some things though. I can't wait to go back to Arizona tomorrow...I miss everyone. This week is going to be awesome because the Mest concert is Wednesday, Senses Fail is Saturday, Skyes Bday is Sunday, and Starting Line is Monday. I want to throw Skye a bday party on Saturday night so I will probably end up not going to Senses Fail. Which is OK bc I have seen them play 3 times. I probably won't have any money to go to Mest either bc I'm going to buy a bunch of alcohol for Skye's bday. I'm thinking....a keg, jello shots, jungle juice, etc. Its going to be a fun party. This means I actually have to clean my house. That needs to be done anyway though. Anyways.....i'm hoping when I come home for Thanksgiving everything will be cool between everyone and we can all hang out and just forget this pretentious bullshit. We'll see. I just wish things were chill like they were this summer. I'm over being the one to make all the effort though. If they want to see or talk to me, they know where i'm at.
[b]New Found Glory[/b]
[i]Truth of My Youth[/i]
There was a time and place,
Where I never thought,
I'd leave my own hometown,
But those days finally,
Are dead and gone,
It was never my intention to stay there,
Oh no,
There was a conscious effort played by me,
To disown anything I see,
There was a girl I knew,
Way back when,
Who says she doesn't know me anymore,
These are the lies the things you never mention,
These are my past mistakes I'll stay away from,
These are my thoughts written down on paper,
It's my only savior,
From not saying what I want to say,
These are the thoughts that are on my mind,
Moments that haven't yet been defined,
And I don't know if you could ever understand,
These are the things I can't say when were alone.
There were countless hours on the telephone,
My ears were ringing from the dial tone,
There were flashing lights,
People staring,
There was nothing I could ever do,
These are the lies the things you never mention,
These are my past mistakes I'll stay away from,
This is the truth,
The only time you'll here it,
I write it down because it seems so hard to say it,
These are my thoughts written down on paper,
It's my only savior,
From not saying what I want to say,
There are my thoughts that are on my mind,
Moments that haven't yet been defined,
And I don't know if you could ever understand,
These are the things I can't say when we're alone.
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| pissed off!!! |
| 10.01.04 (11:19 pm) [edit] |
I AM SO MAD :x
Tonight Jake invited me to go with him to Waco (which is an hour and a half away) because Pajo is having a party down at Baylor. I really wanted to go and see Pajo and I figured my parents wouldn't have problem with it since we would be back in the morning. I understand that i'm only home for the weekend, and that they payed for me to come home, but its not like i'm going to sit at home....if I didn't go to Waco I would end up sleeping over at Kylies or something anyway. They said it was the "principle of it". I'm not used to having them around anymore to tell me I can't do something so I got really mad, but they have a right to tell me not to go so I didn't push it. Like last night I went over to Jake's and stayed pretty late and they didn't care at all. It was weird being over there again. Everyones at school, so it was just me, Jake, Sloth, Roy, and some other kid i've never met before. Oh and this girl Jessica, shes cool. We just hung out and watched TV and all got pretty wasted. There is some show on Cartoon Network called Sealab 2021, and it would probably really stupid if you're sober but it was hilarious at that point! I could not stop laughing. Anyways.....theres a really bad storm right now, so the homecoming game got called off. I feel bad for Timmy....she was so excited. Her date was really cute, he came and picked her up with his mom, and we all took pictures and embarassed them. Her dress for tomorrow is soooo pretty...I think I might accidentially bring it back to Arizona. My freshman year homecoming sucked!! And for the dance tomorrow she and her friends are getting a LIMO....thats excessive, even for southlake!! My parents wouldve laughed if I asked them for a limo freshman year. Now that I'm not here they spoil Timmy rotten. It pisses me off. So then I whine about how they never buy me anything anymore, and they're like "Oh the 120,000 condo doesnt count??" DAMMIT...I have no leg to stand on. Its just that it used to be OUR thing for my Mom and I to go shopping together, and have girls day out and go to lunch just the two of us, and now she and elle do it. Anyways, I'm going to go figure out where Kylie is.....i wish i was in waco!
[b]The Used[/b]
[i]Yesterday's Feelings[/i]
Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where worries are washed out to sea
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like the sun spots or raindrops
Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
but today ive wasted away for today is on my mind
Left the only worries I had in my hands
Away from the light in my eyes
Holding tight and try not to hide how i feel
'Cause feelings mean nothing
All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind (today is on my mind)
Now I can't care to worry
I'm feeling so lonely
Breaking apart all this love in my heart
Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where feelings mean nothing
All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
But today I've wasted away, for today is on my mind
Now I can't care to worry
I'm feeling so lonely
breaking apart all this love in my heart
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